I remember while in Russia and going through all the uncertainty of court, the 10-days not being waived, visiting our daughter and still feeling on shakey ground not really knowing what the heck was going on. Another couple traveling with us had housing/ lease issues with court and they were put through the wringer. I would sit with the woman and we would both be in tears saying “ never again” that we would never go through this again as its just such an emotional ride.


Always feeling under the microscope, having every detail of your existence examined so that you can parent a child you have been longing for.At that point I was an emotional wreck and had enough of this adoption business. Our children were in the same baby home. Misery loves company and we were both miserable without our children. She reminded me to be happy, our adoption was at least granted. I just had to wait a few weeks before I could pick up my daughter. They were dealing with a paperwork glitch and faced the possibility of going home & coming back for a third trip. They had so many unknowns to deal with; we at least had our adoption granted. They eventually got their paperwork sorted out & their ten days waived and went home with their new son.


We talk on the phone now & then and she recently said that they are thinking of adopting again. We chatted and reminisced about our St. Patty’s day in Russia and we likened the frustration and pain of the adoption process to the pain of childbirth. Many women who go through birth say “ never again” only to have more children. Don’t they call that childbirth amnesia? It’s easy to forget the hard stuff. The truth is that there is not much that is not hard about adoption. It’s big on work, money, travel, pain, loss, grief and frustration. Its also an amazing thing.what a wonderful journey we had.

I imagine that childbirth is also filled with a bittersweet mix of pain & joy. I would without a doubt do it again if we could find a way to afford it. Looking back the 10 days not being waived was a blessing in disguise and we were able to bond with our daughter. Our issues were so minimal and we could have been better prepared for the possibility of the 10 days. In the moment when you’re emotional everything seems so huge and major. I would do it again in a heartbeat. What about you? Would you adopt again?


Frequently asked questions week



image credit