So I admit to thinking now & then “ when can we stop all this attachment stuff and start parenting normally”. We have been home a year, can we stop now? Have we done enough ? Is she attached as much as she could be? How do we know for sure? It’s hard to admit that I have had those types of feeling. I guess what I mean by parenting our daughter normally is that I would sometimes like to take a more relaxed approach. Sometimes I want to use time-out instead of time-in…. I don’t want to have to worry if time out is sending her a message of rejection. Parenting is hard work we all know that. Attachment parenting is extra hard work in my opinion because it takes practice, time, effort, consistency and a lot of planning and forethought.



If she acts out after a family gathering I worry about her feelings of security. Her screams in the night may just be a bad dream or is she having night terrors because Grandpa held her again? If we get lax and let other grown-ups meet her needs at family functions believe me we see the effect in our daughter. You may be thinking that after being home a year that these things would no longer effect our daughter but indeed they do. I sometimes don’t use all the tools that I could be using. I admit I get lazy. I try to pay close attention to the cues she is sending and maybe I take them too literally but I don’t think so.


If she is acting babyish (baby talk & behaviors) we break out the bottle, regress, rock and I give her extra baby time activities. If she is pushing me away we do holding time. If she is avoiding eye contact I demand it and we spend a few days playing games to encourage eye contact. I often get caught up in the rhythm of parenting and day to day stuff takes precedence over attachment work. If I forget to take care of her invisible wounds, I see the signs. I guess its easier sometimes to not want to deal with the attachment stuff… but anything you resist persists so back to our attachment tool box for now.


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