Frequently asked questions week



So who has the fertility problem you or your husband? This unfortunately is the question some ask instead of why did you adopt? Many people assume that the childless couples who adopt are doing so because they are physically unable to have children. This is not always the case. Some people just feel called to adopt and choose not to give birth to a child for whatever reason. Adoption has always been in my heart. I can’t remember when I first learned about adoption. But it was always something I was drawn to. Fast forward from a first marriage blunder, to getting divorced, living on my own, dating, and finally getting remarried.


I was ready to be a Mom. I craved to be pregnant like some may crave a hamburger. I had the baby fever. I have some unique medical issues and we sought the advice of a fertility specialist and began treatment right after our honeymoon. During the testing phase we learned that my husband also had some rare issues that would make getting pregnant with minor help almost impossible. Our best chance was IVF with Icsi. We still tried the IUI’s twice. When they failed we were at a crossroads… do we continue with the IVF or go straight to our adoption plans. If the IVF failed it would take a few years to recoup and be able to afford to adopt. I don’t want to make it seem that adoption was second best or our second choice. That’s not it at all.


I had to try everything in my power to get pregnant…. It was biological urge I can’t fully explain. I had to try the Ivf. I thought it would work. I was the best patient; I stopped drinking caffeine and shot myself up with potent hormones that made me look and feel like the hulk. It did not work.. Only after I grieved could I start to prepare for our adoption. During the IVF process some said, “ just adopt”. For some reason I needed to go through the IVF process to be able to let go and close the door. Adopting does not take away the infertility pain. My heart is overflowing with love for my daughter and the pain of infertility is no longer a daily thing. Occasionally I will see a pregnant woman and I sense that familiar pang of ache, that biological yearning. Looking back I can see how everything that occurred was all a part of the plan. If I had pursued adoption back then I would not have Livi.



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