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Many teenagers were adopted as infants and might be the only adopted child in the family. Therefore, they wouldn’t have a clue what their parents went through so many years ago to adopt. Danea explains it quite well. “From the time your parents decided to adopt you, their lives have been scrutinized, analyzed, and picked apart by total strangers. Their destiny, and yours, was at the mercy of these strangers who searched for flaws in their personalities, abilities, intellect, and potential parenting skills.” That is pretty much what our adoptive family has gone through with each renewal of our homestudy and foster care license. We have had 10 updates to our original adoptive homestudy and seven renewal of our foster care license. Although, foster care requires an annual inspection and update, which requires the same paperwork as a renewal, so it’s more like 14.
As promised, I am continuing to write about individual chapters in Adopted Teens Only A Survival Guide to Adolescence. Chapter two is titled, “Adoptive Parents.” It covers issues that arise between adopted teenagers and their parents, as well as what adoptive parents might be thinking or feeling. Teenagers may be surprised to find out that their parents are feeling some of the same emotions they are feeling. The adoptive parents may struggle with some of the same fears as the adopted children. My review of the book can be read by following this link. As I mentioned in the review, this book is an excellent tool for adoptees to work through emotional adoption issues as they arise. It can also be a useful tool for adoptive parents by giving them insight into what their teenagers are thinking and feeling. The book was written by Danea Gorbett and published by iUniverse.
I like the fact the Danea periodically gives teens a reality check throughout the book. In chapter two she tells the teens what their parents had to go through to adopt. She calls it “Super-Parent Scrutiny.” Our family is a little different then most adoptive families because we have adopted seven children over a span of 14 years. Our older adopted children were part of the process and scrutinized as thoroughly as we were with our last few adoptions. Therefore, they know full well what we went through to adopt them.
Danea tells the teens that their parents may be just as uncomfortable as they are about bringing up and discussing their adoption. She suggests that the teens take the initiative and show their maturity by opening the lines of communication with their parents. She goes so far as to say that opening this up can create a closer and improved relationship between the teen and the adoptive parents. I appreciate how Danea repeatedly encourages the teens throughout this book. You won’t be disappointed if you read this yourself and share it with your adopted children.
Related blogs:
Adopted Teens Only A Survival Guide to Adolescence – Book Review
Am I Normal? A Guide for Teenagers
Photo Credit iUniverse 2007, Review requested by Meagan Morris, Publicist. Photo provided by Meagan Morris 03/25/08.
