Comments on: The 20/20 hindsight of the women who returned. http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1 News and information on parenting the adopted child. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:42:25 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Heather Lowe http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1295 Heather Lowe Sat, 18 Nov 2006 13:11:27 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1295 The stigma is not gone. It is part of why I placed.<br /> The stigma is not gone. It is part of why I placed.

]]> By: Dr. G http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1294 Dr. G Fri, 17 Nov 2006 20:24:13 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1294 Jenna--<br /> you're right. point taken. i thought one thing and wrote another. that's the thing about blog writing. there's no shortage of editors. keeps the writing honest.<br /> <br /> and heaven's no, *nothing* is the case for every single area of the world. nothing. Jenna–
you’re right. point taken. i thought one thing and wrote another. that’s the thing about blog writing. there’s no shortage of editors. keeps the writing honest.

and heaven’s no, *nothing* is the case for every single area of the world. nothing.

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1293 Jenna Hatfield Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:03:04 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1293 Dr. G; you didn't say that. You said:<br /> <br /> <i>Out of wedlock pregnancy has lost its stigma</i><br /> <br /> And that's not the case for every single area of the world. Let's not be so blind as to think such things are true for every case.<br /> Dr. G; you didn’t say that. You said:

Out of wedlock pregnancy has lost its stigma

And that’s not the case for every single area of the world. Let’s not be so blind as to think such things are true for every case.

]]> By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1292 Sandra Hanks Benoiton Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:43:27 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1292 <br /> Here' s the link for my comment, for all the lazies ....<br /> <br /> <br /> http://older-parent.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/comment-on-dr-g-s-post-on-the-girls-who Here’ s the link for my comment, for all the lazies ….

http://older-parent.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/comment-on-dr-g-s-post-on-the-girls-who

]]> By: Dr. G http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1291 Dr. G Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:34:47 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1291 Adrienne--<br /> that's precisely the thing i'm talking about. a different kind of set up. doggone it. it's like the bottom line to the set up is we're going to get that baby from you one way or the other. either we'll send you away and make you give her up or we'll make you keep her and then take her from you when you screw it all up. ack! this is crazy making...<br /> <br /> Sandra--<br /> Saw your piece over on our other blog. Yep. You're right. About the part about why my reaction has been...my reaction...thus far, at least. <br /> <br /> Jan--<br /> thanks for being able to answer what was really the central question. i wasn't writing about sour grapes. i was asking if women with a different experience asked themselves a different and equally painful question in the aftermath of it all. you've answered that for yourself (and now for me). it is harder to be without your child than to be with your child even when the circumstances of it all are stressful and challenging. thanks.<br /> <br /> <br /> Jenna--<br /> I know girls still catch flak for "getting themselves pregnant" (what a stupid and innaccurate...no, make that an *impossible* statement) but the stigma of getting pregnant in 2006 is nothing like it was in 1966 or even 1976. nothing. that much i've seen with my own eyes. Adrienne–
that’s precisely the thing i’m talking about. a different kind of set up. doggone it. it’s like the bottom line to the set up is we’re going to get that baby from you one way or the other. either we’ll send you away and make you give her up or we’ll make you keep her and then take her from you when you screw it all up. ack! this is crazy making…

Sandra–
Saw your piece over on our other blog. Yep. You’re right. About the part about why my reaction has been…my reaction…thus far, at least.

Jan–
thanks for being able to answer what was really the central question. i wasn’t writing about sour grapes. i was asking if women with a different experience asked themselves a different and equally painful question in the aftermath of it all. you’ve answered that for yourself (and now for me). it is harder to be without your child than to be with your child even when the circumstances of it all are stressful and challenging. thanks.

Jenna–
I know girls still catch flak for “getting themselves pregnant” (what a stupid and innaccurate…no, make that an *impossible* statement) but the stigma of getting pregnant in 2006 is nothing like it was in 1966 or even 1976. nothing. that much i’ve seen with my own eyes.

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1290 Jenna Hatfield Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:11:31 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1290 Really? Out of wedlock pregnancy has lost its stigma? Please go tell the staff where I received my prenatal care with the Munchkin, my family and the small town from which I hail.<br /> <br /> Wow. Really? Out of wedlock pregnancy has lost its stigma? Please go tell the staff where I received my prenatal care with the Munchkin, my family and the small town from which I hail.

Wow.

]]> By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1289 Sandra Hanks Benoiton Fri, 17 Nov 2006 15:40:18 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1289 I started a comment, and it's ended up a post. It will be on the Older Parent blog. Didn't want to clog up your comments section, Doc.<br /> I started a comment, and it’s ended up a post. It will be on the Older Parent blog. Didn’t want to clog up your comments section, Doc.

]]> By: Adrienne Bashista http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1288 Adrienne Bashista Fri, 17 Nov 2006 15:38:36 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1288 Totally agree, Jan. I think it's really about informed choice, no matter which way you slice it! Totally agree, Jan. I think it’s really about informed choice, no matter which way you slice it!

]]> By: Jan Baker http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1287 Jan Baker Fri, 17 Nov 2006 15:24:31 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1287 P.S. I don't think we can or should force women to parent, but I believe that they need to know the REAL consequences for themselves and their children when they don't. P.S. I don’t think we can or should force women to parent, but I believe that they need to know the REAL consequences for themselves and their children when they don’t.

]]> By: Jan Baker http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1/comment-page-1#comment-1286 Jan Baker Fri, 17 Nov 2006 15:22:37 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/11/17/the-20-20-hindsight-of-the-women-who-ret-1#comment-1286 Dr. G., I did both - getting pregnant at both 16 and 21. From my personal experience, living a lifetime without your child, for whatever reason, is infinitely more difficult than raising a child at a very young age. Most birth moms I know feel similarly. <br /> <br /> Although I WAS able to meet the challenge as Adrienne puts it (at age 16), I do know not all young women can. However, I know how relinquishing wounds your heart for a lifetime as well. <br /> <br /> Of course being a parent is hard at any age, from my experience. However, being a mother without her child, is a million times more difficult. Dr. G., I did both – getting pregnant at both 16 and 21. From my personal experience, living a lifetime without your child, for whatever reason, is infinitely more difficult than raising a child at a very young age. Most birth moms I know feel similarly.

Although I WAS able to meet the challenge as Adrienne puts it (at age 16), I do know not all young women can. However, I know how relinquishing wounds your heart for a lifetime as well.

Of course being a parent is hard at any age, from my experience. However, being a mother without her child, is a million times more difficult.

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