Comments on: Temper Tantrums http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/temper-tantrums-1 News and information on parenting the adopted child. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:42:25 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: shortigurl47 http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/temper-tantrums-1/comment-page-1#comment-1451 shortigurl47 Tue, 07 Jul 2009 07:49:19 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2009/02/17/temper-tantrums-1#comment-1451 I feel your pain. We are in the process of adopting a 3 year old. When we first got him, he was 2 years behind in development. 5 Months later and he's only a year behind. He was bounced around like many foster kids. In his life time he has been passed around 6 times. He has gone from biting so hard drawing blood, trying to stab me with a fork, he actually threw his mattress at us, he gets so angry that he punches himself in the private areas. We had a behavioral assessment done on him. An average child in the 1 1/2 Year old - 3 year old has a score of no more than 59. He scored 195. The poor kid is out of control! We have done many things with him. One thing we have done that seems to work the best is the following:<br /> <br /> Step 1: Try to talk to him nicely. Don't use negative or positive words. If he refuses to listen, he gets a choice between the couch or his room for a time out. He can do what he needs to do inorder to calm down.<br /> <br /> Step 2: Once he is calm, we go in and talk to him. We do not negatively speak to him because it just makes things worse. We reason with him. <br /> Example: If he wanted to go outside but we said no.....<br /> "You know there are sometimes that I want to go outside too but I can't. I know you're sad about it but you'll have plenty of chances to go outside" <br /> We make sure we say I love you to him right after our actions because he has attachment issues. <br /> <br /> Step 3: Occupy him with something different. Play with him, show him that there are other fun things he can do. <br /> <br /> Of course It doesn't always come out perfect. At that point, we just put him in his room until he is done doing whatever it is he's doing. We don't pay any attention to him while he's acting out, instead we praise him as much as we can when he is being good. I'm no expert at kids for sure since I've only had 5 months experience with this kid. In that time, this is the only thing that works on him I feel your pain. We are in the process of adopting a 3 year old. When we first got him, he was 2 years behind in development. 5 Months later and he’s only a year behind. He was bounced around like many foster kids. In his life time he has been passed around 6 times. He has gone from biting so hard drawing blood, trying to stab me with a fork, he actually threw his mattress at us, he gets so angry that he punches himself in the private areas. We had a behavioral assessment done on him. An average child in the 1 1/2 Year old – 3 year old has a score of no more than 59. He scored 195. The poor kid is out of control! We have done many things with him. One thing we have done that seems to work the best is the following:

Step 1: Try to talk to him nicely. Don’t use negative or positive words. If he refuses to listen, he gets a choice between the couch or his room for a time out. He can do what he needs to do inorder to calm down.

Step 2: Once he is calm, we go in and talk to him. We do not negatively speak to him because it just makes things worse. We reason with him.
Example: If he wanted to go outside but we said no…..
“You know there are sometimes that I want to go outside too but I can’t. I know you’re sad about it but you’ll have plenty of chances to go outside”
We make sure we say I love you to him right after our actions because he has attachment issues.

Step 3: Occupy him with something different. Play with him, show him that there are other fun things he can do.

Of course It doesn’t always come out perfect. At that point, we just put him in his room until he is done doing whatever it is he’s doing. We don’t pay any attention to him while he’s acting out, instead we praise him as much as we can when he is being good. I’m no expert at kids for sure since I’ve only had 5 months experience with this kid. In that time, this is the only thing that works on him

]]> By: Mandy W http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/temper-tantrums-1/comment-page-1#comment-1450 Mandy W Fri, 20 Feb 2009 09:30:49 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2009/02/17/temper-tantrums-1#comment-1450 Wow! That was a tantrum! It is so great to hear other parent stories about the stuff we go through as well. While Mita and Enu have yet to hurt a hotel wall :) My husband and I often replay everything over and over to see what we could have done better. The tantrums do stay with you well after it is over. Wow! That was a tantrum! It is so great to hear other parent stories about the stuff we go through as well. While Mita and Enu have yet to hurt a hotel wall :) My husband and I often replay everything over and over to see what we could have done better. The tantrums do stay with you well after it is over.

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