Comments on: Talking with “Unwanted” Adopted Child About Birthmother http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou News and information on parenting the adopted child. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:42:25 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Faith Allen http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou/comment-page-1#comment-1652 Faith Allen Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:12:24 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/07/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou#comment-1652 Good idea, John.<br /> <br /> It's funny how children process things a little at a time. My six-year-old son has known about his birthmother forever, but he was surprised to learn the other day that he has a birthfather, too. That never even occurred to him!<br /> <br /> - Faith Good idea, John.

It’s funny how children process things a little at a time. My six-year-old son has known about his birthmother forever, but he was surprised to learn the other day that he has a birthfather, too. That never even occurred to him!

- Faith

]]> By: John http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou/comment-page-1#comment-1651 John Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:01:57 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/07/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou#comment-1651 Just a thought, "Did you know that you have birth siblings?" may be a great lead in, that already establishes that mom did have other kids. The initial curiosity will be about them. Probably possible to say "Sometimes moms get overloaded, and then they end up with more kids than they can raise.". The critical idea is already out there. Still a tricky subject to cover, good luck. John Just a thought, “Did you know that you have birth siblings?” may be a great lead in, that already establishes that mom did have other kids. The initial curiosity will be about them. Probably possible to say “Sometimes moms get overloaded, and then they end up with more kids than they can raise.”. The critical idea is already out there. Still a tricky subject to cover, good luck. John

]]> By: Faith Allen http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou/comment-page-1#comment-1650 Faith Allen Wed, 08 Aug 2007 20:49:40 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/07/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou#comment-1650 Your son will have you to help him work through these issues. Yes, it will be hard, but I am glad that he will have your love and support as he makes his peace with this information.<br /> <br /> Have you thought about how to handle a direct question of "Do I have any birth siblings?" He may never ask, but you might want to have your answer ready in case he does.<br /> <br /> Take care,<br /> <br /> - Faith Your son will have you to help him work through these issues. Yes, it will be hard, but I am glad that he will have your love and support as he makes his peace with this information.

Have you thought about how to handle a direct question of “Do I have any birth siblings?” He may never ask, but you might want to have your answer ready in case he does.

Take care,

- Faith

]]> By: dossin1 http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou/comment-page-1#comment-1649 dossin1 Wed, 08 Aug 2007 18:43:45 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/08/07/talking-with-unwanted-adopted-child-abou#comment-1649 my son is 11. We have always told him that his birthmom wasn't able to or had the resources to care for him. However, what we haven't told him is that he has 3 other sibs whom the mom kept. She was only 21 or 22 and couldn't handle another child. We always felt that when he was 18, if he wanted info on his birthmom, he could look it up and then find out about his sibs.<br /> <br /> We felt he would feel too rejected if he found out he was given away and the other sibs were kept. I hope we have done the right thing. He is really fragile emotionally, our thought is that as an adult he would be able to better understand that life has some tough choices. But then again, maybe he won't understand. my son is 11. We have always told him that his birthmom wasn’t able to or had the resources to care for him. However, what we haven’t told him is that he has 3 other sibs whom the mom kept. She was only 21 or 22 and couldn’t handle another child. We always felt that when he was 18, if he wanted info on his birthmom, he could look it up and then find out about his sibs.

We felt he would feel too rejected if he found out he was given away and the other sibs were kept. I hope we have done the right thing. He is really fragile emotionally, our thought is that as an adult he would be able to better understand that life has some tough choices. But then again, maybe he won’t understand.

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