For many of us, Mother’s Day is not the day we had dreamed of when we started out our parenting journey. We don’t have children rushing to us with hugs and fists full of flowers. We aren’t greeted with “I love you” or children wanting to make the day perfect for us.

Many of my days started with my son throwing a huge fit, possibly literally throwing things, cursing at me and other equally fun things. At some point in my parenting journey, I stopped making the day about making my kids feel good about having me for a mom, and instead I celebrate making it through another year of parenting. Not the ideal thing, but it works for me.

Here are some things you can do for yourself to celebrate you.

Go to lunch or dinner with a friend – One year I went to dinner with a friend who does not have children and the day was difficult for her as well. We had a great dinner at a slightly upscale restaurant, a couple of margaritas, and we celebrated our friendship. No, it is not selfish to do this.

Go to Glamour Shots – Even if you don’t buy some fancy package of photos, you get pampered having your hair done, your makeup done, and you can dress as casual or fancy as you like. The process takes a couple of hours, which gives you time to relax and enjoy yourself.

Curl up with a good book – Let someone else take your kids. Your partner can take the kids to a park while you have some down time with a good book, a pint of decadent ice cream and a fire in the fireplace if the weather allows it.

Go to a movie – Go see the latest “chick flick” if you are so inclined, a movie that has your favorite actor, or any movie that the rest of the family doesn’t want to see. If you’re a fan of old movies, rent several of them and have a movie marathon at home, similar to the book scenario.

Go shoe shopping – I love shoes, but I usually shop for inexpensive shoes. If you’re a shoe lover head to a good shoe store, or an upscale department store and try on shoes you would never think of purchasing. Even if you never buy the shoes, sometimes allowing yourself the luxury of doing something you would never do is just enough of a pick me up.

Flowers – If you didn’t get flowers, but really love them, buy some for yourself. The sight and smell of flowers can help pick up your spirits. To take it one step further, go to botanical gardens and enjoy all the flowers.

Attend a Taize service – Taize is a beautiful, peaceful meditative church service. If you’d like to spend some time in peaceful prayer, this is a great way to do it. If you are unable to find a church having a service, you can try to replicate it in your home or in another quiet place.

Whatever you decide to do, make the day about celebrating you. It is perfectly fine to not spend the day with a child who will be angry at your or try to make the day miserable.

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