What are the advantages of spending time in a classroom with your adopted child? It doesn’t matter if you choose to be a classroom mom at public school, participate in a homeschool cooperative, or teach a Sunday school class. The point is to see your child interacting with peers and to note how your child compares academically with similar aged peers. What can you expect to get out of this classroom experience with your child? Children adopted at an older age sometimes fall into odd patterns of communication with their parents. Unless you are an employed teacher in the current grade level of your child, you can’t know how your child compares academically with peers.

Why would you want to know how your children interact with peers? Several of my older adopted children, those who suffered early trauma, fall into robot mode when I ask questions. It can be annoying at times and it makes me think they are weird. Don’t misunderstand me, they are still my children whom I love, but they are a little strange. Then I watch them interact with similar aged peers in a classroom. I realize that they can communicate in a perfectly normal way and they can actually be funny. It gives me more hope for their futures.

Why is it important to know how your child compares academically with peers? Children adopted at an older age may be fearful to tell a parent about academic struggles. If you observe the struggles, you may be able to offer tutoring that helps your child succeed and builds up the child’s self-esteem. In addition, if you are not accustomed to seeing the work of similar aged children, you may have unrealistic expectations for your child.

This happened to me when we adopted children who were older than our birth children. I thought my daughter’s writing abilities were behind. While she had an introduction, body, and conclusion, her paragraphs lacked structure and cohesiveness. Then I began teaching a literature class at our homeschool co-op. When I saw the work, turned in by other students her age, I realized that she was ahead of most of them. I realized that I should have been praising her work, instead of criticizing it.



Photo Credit: 2007 Julia Fuller.