In a previous blog, Homework Hassles, homework challenges were discussed. I'll say it again, I don't like homework. Whether I love it or not, fourteen of my children plan on having homework five days a week. Routines are crucial in order for homework to ‘work’ in our family. The daily schedule is the same from day to day, with very few exceptions or changes. I’ve found that all of my children thrive on rigid structure and scheduling, particularly those that have been adopted and/or arrive with behavior problems/emotional difficulties. The routines we develop are crucial for their well being.

When the kids get home from school, they put away shoes and backpacks and come to the kitchen for a snack. I think that “food from the mom” immediately after a long and stressful day not only tastes good, but is a great way to continue to form mom/child bonding and attachment.

The afternoon’s schedule is repeated often, in sort of a chant or mantra. “Snack, chore, bedroom, homework”. Note that homework is NOT first on this list. I don’t consider homework the most important task. I view learning to live with a family the most important thing that my child can learn. The first tasks, chores, are part of living in a family. Everyone has a chore. Our chores are short and could be complete in about 15 minutes. However, with freedom to choose, it’s also possible to spend several hours on a chore. Hopefully, it’s a good day and the chore is completed fairly quickly.

“Snack, chore, bedroom, homework”. With snack and chore behind him, Son is ready to move on to tidying his bedroom. This is another way that he learns both working together in a family and personal/self-care. Like I’ve mentioned, family comes first and my kids get to hear it repeated over and over.

After snack, chore, and bedroom FINALLY comes homework. I provide a quiet place to do homework. I provide time for homework (assuming the child manages the snack, chore and bedroom time somewhat functionally). I provide an enormous range of supplies. I do not do the homework. I do provide assistance and encouragement, but do not provide a teacher. If the work is genuinely too hard or too much, I will write a note to the teacher. Otherwise, the child is expected to do the bulk of his own homework.

Finally, after homework, the rest of the day is free for each child to do what he’d like. We eat dinner together. Before bed, I reserve 30 minutes for a family activity. The kids who are done with their routine, all the way to completed homework, get to join us for the activity. The others are “gifted with those 30 minutes to help them finish up. Of course, everyone gets hugs and kisses and stories before bed!

What about when the child resists the routine? See the next blog for more ideas: Homework Hang-Ups.

Another article about similar issues is Time Management for Kids.