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If your adopted child was conceived through rape or incest, should you tell him? Many people argue that an adopted child should never be told this information. Here are the reasons why:
1. This knowledge can affect your child’s self-esteem.
It is a struggle for many teenagers to feel good about themselves. Between their raging hormones and all of the angst that comes along with the teen years, many teenagers struggle with their self-esteem. A child’s adoption adds another layer of issues to work through. Throw in being conceived through rape or incest, and a teenager’s self-esteem can really take a nosedive.
2. Nothing good will come from the child knowing this information.
Many people argue that we should not tell our children things that will do nothing but harm them. These people argue that nothing good will come from sharing this information, but a lot of harm could result, so why dump this information on the shoulders of a child?
3. The child might believe that he is “bad.”
Conventional wisdom says that the apple does not fall far from the tree. When the “tree” is a rapist, the child can fear that he is a “bad apple.” The child might let this view of himself limit his own potential. He might start to make bad choices based upon the belief that he is already bad so he might as well act that way.
4. The information will be extremely painful for the child to hear.
It is natural for a parent to want to protect his child from pain. There is no way to tell a child that he was conceived through rape or incest without this information inflicting deep emotional wounds. It is a very normal and human desire to protect our children from anything that will cause them harm.
5. Some people fear that this information can cause a child to follow in his father’s footsteps.
Some people fear that there is a hereditary link with rape. By keeping this knowledge from the child, some parents might hope to keep the cycle from repeating itself.
Related Topics:
- Adopted Child Conceived by Rape/Incest Series
- Rape/Incest & Adopted Child: Reasons to Tell
- Rape/Incest & Adopted Child: Issues to Consider if you Tell
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