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In my last post, Parenting an Only Child: Benefits, I discussed the benefits of parenting an only child. In this post, I will discuss the challenges.
Although there is a lot to recommend having an only child, there are also some challenges. I have found ways to overcome most of these challenges, so I do not believe my son will regret growing up without a sibling.
Vacations and Holidays
Vacations and holidays can be difficult for my son. He is a very outgoing and social child, so he wants to play with other children every day. My son can get cranky on vacations after spending several days with no other children. As much as he loves his parents, playing with them is not the same as playing with a child his own age.
To meet this challenge, I take my son to children’s museums and other places where he can interact with children while on vacation. I am considering allowing my son to bring a friend along when he is a little older so that he will have a playmate on vacation.
Christmas morning can also be a downer when he has no other child with whom he can play. Last Christmas, my sister and her sons (one of whom is close in age to my son) spent the holidays with us, so my son had his very best Christmas ever. We plan to continue this trend from now on because all of the cousins really enjoyed being together for the holidays.
Sole Responsibility for Aging Parents
Another concern I have for my son is having no other siblings with whom to share the burden of taking care of his aging parents. A friend suggested that my husband and I sign living wills and set up health trusts to take care of these issues.
Loss of Benefits of Siblings
I also worried about my son growing up too fast, being self-centered, and missing out on a relationship with another child in his life. I took care of this by becoming close with another family who is parenting an only child. My son has grown up with this little girl. They trick-or-treat and visit with Santa together every year, and we were with this girl when my son lost his first tooth. Even though he does not have a sibling living in our home, he has another child who fills the role of a sibling in his life.
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Nice Post. I agree with you on both the challenges and the benefits and I feel the challenges are quiet daunting. I have 2 yr old too, who is always “right behind me” for more play and stories. Though she is very social, her “onliness” makes her look up to me as a playmate. Yet, I am not sure if a sibling would have helped … maybe then I would have two looking up to me as a “playmate”. Scary ..
I hear you!!
Once my son was old enough to attend preschool/school and morning camps during the summer, things got easier. He needs to have other children to play with. As long as those social needs are met, then he does not look to me as much to serve as a “playmate.”
However, we do have days (like today) in which we have no social plans with any other children. I have to get creative if I don’t want to spend the whole day playing Candyland. LOL We just got back from a long visit to the zoo, and we both had a really good time.
- Faith
Such good stuff on this blog!! I haven’t been on the adoption blogs for awhile, and I’m glad I came over today.
Nice post about a topic I think parents go round and round on…my daughter is 2 as well, and her two favorite phrases are “come on, Mommy” (as she drags my arm) and “have a seat” as she gestures me to sit next to her on the floor while she plays!!
She’ll be an only for at least the next year (if not forever–we’re on the fence about adopting again), so we interact a lot with my girlfriends and their kids, cousins and kids around the neighborhood.
I am so excited to meet more “only” parents!!
I have a friend who married an “only.” He and his cousin are very close like brothers, and he has no regrets about growing up without siblings. I know another couple who wanted more than one child but were unable to conceive again. They felt guilty about their son being an “only,” but he has told his parents several times that he loved his childhood. So, I guess my son is in good company. :0)
- Faith