Let me be the first to say that I believe in the freedom of speech wholeheartedly. If I don’t agree with your stance on something or you personally don’t subscribe to my theories on insert-topic-here, I welcome that difference. As long as there’s no slander/ abusive language or concepts (and the like) involved, I believe the element of debate in speech is one of the greatest freedoms one can maintain.
That said, I will admit to this: the first time I heard a handful of anti-adoption rhetoric, it floored me. I’m not writing this blog today to try to convince you that adoption is the answer, or that your opinion of the very process should be purely favorable, no matter the surrounding circumstances. To be honest, I do feel a lot about the very process of adoption could stand a bit of reform, especially the international adoption circuit. I do believe that in many cases, it is in the child’s best interest to stay with members of his or her biological family; however, I do not believe it stands true in each and every instance. Like many things in life, I think it needs to be examined on a case-by-case basis and analyzed accordingly as such.
I’ve mentioned this before in passing, but I will say it again here: Beauty’s presence in my life is a precious (albeit bittersweet) gift. While a part of me does mourn for the fact that my daughter was not able to grow up with her biological mother, I am so grateful to have this chance to be a part of her life, to watch her grow into the amazing young woman I know she will be. Is she “lucky” to have me? No more than anyone is “lucky” to have anyone else in their lives—be it a child, a significant other, a rock-solid best friend, a benevolent boss. I have no doubt she will go through life stages with me as all daughters do their mothers: adoration (as a child), toleration (as a teenager), and admiration (as an adult). Isn’t that essentially the way of the world?
I realize that last sentiment was a bit tongue-in-cheek, but the fact remains that it is my hope that she will love me as any daughter loves her mother, that the “adoptive” aspect need not factor into her feelings toward me. But what mother doesn’t wish for that kind of bonded parent/child love in her life? This concept is not one specific to adoption. Do I think, at the end of the day, that Beauty could’ve had a better life with her birth mother? I don’t know. I don’t think like that. I mean, how does one define “better”? Is it biology? Is it finances? Opportunity? I don’t know.
The truth remains that I do feel that–in most cases–adoption is a loving gift to all involved, from the birth family to the child to the adoptive family. Call me idealistic if you will, but in my heart and in my soul, I do know this much is true: adoption has helped make my world a much more beautiful, amazing, and wondrous place.