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Years before I married or even thought of having children, I knew I wanted to adopt. It’s a topic on which I’ve always felt strongly, but back then I had no idea just how much or how beautifully it would shape my life. The actual details that led my husband and I to adopt merely sealed the deal: this is the path we were destined to take. Adoption has made my life so joyful in so many different ways.
While pregnant with our son, Bear (now three years of age), I elected to take all the genetic screenings offered. One of the blood tests was a screening for the carrier gene of Cystic Fibrosis. I have to admit this much is true: I had little idea of what Cystic Fibrosis was, or what it entailed. When I found I was a carrier, I immediately jumped online and visited the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website. The short definition explains cystic fibrosis is “a life-threatening genetic disease that causes mucus to build up and clog some of the organs in the body, particularly the lungs and pancreas” (Cystic Fibrosis Foundation). There is no cure at this time and, in 2008, the anticipated “age of survival rose to 37.4, up from 32 in 2000″ (Cystic Fibrosis Foundation). If my son’s biological father also tested positive as being a carrier of the CF gene, there would be a 25% chance that Bear would be born with Cystic Fibrosis. My son’s biological father went for a screening immediately, and we received the news that he is not a carrier. My husband then went for a screen since we knew we wanted a large family with many children. However, he, too, is a carrier of the Cystic Fibrosis gene.
We saw genetic counselors, fertility specialists; we made a list of our options: IVF, donor insemination, or adoption (”chancing it”, in our opinion, was out of the question). Our decision was made long before we even really considered all the options at length: we wanted to adopt. Even prior to starting the process, we felt it to be a perfect fit for our family.
Adoption rolled into our life in double effect the summer after my son was born: my husband adopted Bear, and we started the process of adopting a baby girl from Guatemala. Bear’s adoption finalized in February 2007; our daughter was born in Guatemala just one month later. On December 14, 2007, we welcomed home our baby girl, Beauty, at exactly nine months of age. Suffice to say, we’re a family built on the love of adoption and are grateful everyday for its beautiful presence in our lives.
Over the course of the past year and a half or so (since Beauty’s homecoming in December 2007), several people have asked me if I felt adoptive parenting is different than biological parenting or if it comes with the exact same set of challenges. I think that parenting in general is fluid on all counts; the experiences I encounter or challenges I face are not necessarily those of other families, regardless of whether adoption has ever come into play. Do I feel adoption adds another dimension? Most definitely. However, at the end of the day, a family built on love is just that: a family built beautifully upon the strongest foundation possible. As a new blogger for Adoptive Parenting, I hope to explore issues here that are completely relevant to adoptive parenting (but not necessarily exclusive) while discussing the dynamics of a family that is based upon a blend of both adoption and biology.
Photo Credit: 2009 Courtney O.
I really enjoyed reading this, good work!
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