As I posted in Protecting Adopted Child from the Media, I really dislike it when the media goes out of its way to point out that a child was adopted when the child’s adoption is irrelevant to the story. As an example, I pointed out how frequently the media reminds us that Tom and Nichole adopted their children. My son is just my son. Yes, he joined my family through adoption, but his adoption does not define who he is.

I happen to be a Michelle Pfeiffer fan, and I never knew that she was a fellow adoptive mother. One of the reasons I did not know this about her is because she apparently feels the same way that I do about the way people talk about her child. In her article on MSN Lifestyle, the interviewer Liz Smith brought up this topic as part of her interview with Michelle Pfeiffer:

LS: I'll always remember you taught me a great lesson years ago, Michelle, when you corrected me after I wrote something about Claudia and referred to her as your adopted daughter — she's just your daughter.

MP: That's right. And you never did that again. I applaud you for that. - Michelle Pfeiffer — What She Did for Love

SPONSOR

I applaud Michelle Pfeiffer for taking this stand with the reporter and for doing so in a way that “stuck” with the reporter. Now we have at least one less reporter gratuitously sharing when a celebrity’s child joined the family through adoption.

I think we, as adoptive parents, can learn a lot from the way Michelle Pfeiffer handled this issue. Sometimes we can be tempted just to let these issues slide. After all, is it really that big of a deal for people to refer to your child as your adopted child? In my opinion, the answer is yes.

When people feel the need to qualify that my son is my “adopted” son, they single him out as different, and they erect a potential barrier that should not be there. I do not view my son as my adopted son. Yes, I am well aware of how he joined my family, but I truly do not think about his adoption when I think about him. He is just my kid.

When we allow others to qualify our relationships with our children, we run the risk of our children buying into this qualifier. I do not want my son ever to feel as if he is anything less than my son. He is my son in every way that matters.

Related Topics:

• Protecting Adopted Child from the Media



• Does Being Adopted Always Matter?



• She Isn’t My Real Sister, She’s Adopted! No, My Brother is the Adopted One!