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I have an admission to make: I am a former (definitely former–definitely mostly former) control freak. Granted, it’s gotten a lot better since Bear made his debut in May of 2006; having kids kind of takes the edge off in that way. And in many ways, I have learned to let the little things go. I’m a lot more relaxed, a lot less bothered by things beyond my control. However, while I am flexible, I still appreciate routine. I’m not rigidly adhered to our schedule, but I do like predictability.
Prior to the addition of Bella to our family, we had a pretty simple but predictable routine. Toddlerhood was making way for the preschool circuit, and we were at the “get your shoes and coat so we can go” point. Enter Bella, our beautiful new daughter. And suddenly, I’m reminded about what motherhood is all about: flexibility, patience, support, and love.
Beauty came home from Guatemala at nine months of age; the last time I had a four month old in the house was…roughly September 2006. Do I even need to suggest that I’m a bit out of practice? For example, diaper bags are better equipped when they actually have, you know, diapers as one of the components. Oh, and it helps to attempt grocery shopping with three kids under the age of four when–at the very least–the baby is on a full stomach.
Yep. Important life lessons here. There are many things I thought I almost remembered only to realize thy have been out of my routine for so long that I just needed a refresher. Listen, I’m not complaining in the least. I’m loving every single not-always-predictable second. But some adjustments have already been made and there are many more to come.
Nighttime has been our greatest feat yet. Beauty is usually a rock solid sleeper, but Bear? Not so much. Bella is a great sleeper, too–one last late night feeding at midnight and then again four to five hours later. When my husband–a firefighter/paramedic–is not on shift, our family is a well-oiled-bedtime-and-overnight routine machine. My solo nights, however, are a hot mess.
Last night, for instance, I made a bottle for Bella at midnight, brought Beauty a glass of water right after Bella was done, and promptly fell asleep. Bella woke up at 3:30 needing to be burped and soothed for a moment, and at that time, Bear woke up for a bathroom break. While Bella went back to sleep immediately, Bear did not. He was up for two hours, and subsequently, so was I. When he finally fell asleep, Beauty called for me to to find her stuffed big-name-purple-dinosaur (he was under her covers at the foot of her bed) and by that time, Bella was ready for another bottle. And then ready to be social. And then, Beauty woke up and Bear followed suit shortly thereafter.
It’s going to get easier, I know. It’s a matter of hammering out a new routine as a family of five, rather than just trying to implement Bella into the routine we already have. And I’m grateful to have these moments of craziness and late nights and early morning feedings. The routine will come. But for now, I’m just periodically reminding myself to savor every single second of the chaos. Soon enough, I’ll be waiting for all three to get home after dark, and I’ll wistfully recall these crazy early moments.
