Last night, I shopped at WalMart. That alone is not a shocker; I go to WalMart 2-3 times every week. This time, however, there was a little surprise waiting for me.

I had three adopted children with me. We bought some batteries, a child’s birthday toy, and a 4th grader’s needed blue binder. Next, a giant row of Mother’s Day cards hit us nearly flat upside the head. I can’t answer for my kids, but for myself, it felt like a 2x4 across the head/chest and it took my breath away. I’m not sure why I wasn't more ready. Perhaps calendaring is becoming less and less a talent of mine. But, I was not prepared for Mother’s Day issues yet this year.

I hate Mother’s Day.

I have 26 children. I LOVE being a mother more than anything else in the world! So, why do I hate Mother’s Day???

Of all holidays during a calendar year, Mother’s Day seems to bring out the tough stuff in my adopted children. All of the “mother issues” are right out on the surface. For my particular children, most have come from abusive birth parents. Many have also had abusive foster parents; some have had great foster parents. Most have had previous sets of adoptive parents. Mix in with all that some extra for all of the grandmas. Orphanage caretakers fit in here somewhere as well. One son seems to bring out his feelings targeting a long-time case manager during the “Mother’s Day season”.

And, guess what? Every one of those types of mothers seems to have a particular section of the Mother’s Day card row specifically targeted to that. Often, my kids will read one of these sappy cards – and their negative behaviors come out almost instantaneously. I understand it. It’s not fair. They’ve had some really horrid experiences with mothers thus far.

The kids started looking through some of the cards last night and it started right away. Negative comments were thrown back and forth. I observed that all of their Mother’s Day thoughts were focused towards mothers in their past; none seemed to realize it could also include a mother of the present. I note that, not because I’m jealous or need more acknowledgement, but to point out the strong emotions and history that are brought up with this row of silly cards.

I can relate with my kids. I am a grown person who has seemingly worked through my issues. In younger years, I left home and lived with a foster family. My own mother was quite abusive. Today, she’s made some changes and we have an improved relationship. Nonetheless, when I pick up and read a sappy Mother’s Day card, I get knots in my stomach. I feel resentment building. I just feel icky.

This happens to ME, an adult who has been through healing processes and who has skills to work through all sorts of emotions. How much MORE can we expect these kinds of reactions from many of our adopted children?

Mother’s Day is a tough one. Here’s hoping that, as the holiday approaches, all of you mothers are able to find enjoyment and peace on “your day” – as you help your kiddos deal with all of the emotions that Mother’s Day brings for them.