Adoptive Parenting, Child Parenting

03/04/07

More Rude Comments!

Posted by : Theresa in Adoptive Parenting Blog at 11:25 pm , 404 words, 154 views
Categories: Unsupportive People

More of my favorite personally received rude comments about my children and/or parenting:

I was walking through the grocery store with four children. We were just doing our shopping, not bothering anyone. A lady approached me and asked if I’d mind if she asked me a question. “Ummm……okay, sure”. Then she looks me straight in the eye and – I kid you not! – asks me if I’d mind if she paid for me to have a hysterectomy!!

Again, I had no ready answer. I can’t even remember what I said to her. But, I did get home without the hysterectomy.

I told my sister about this. She was upset that I hadn’t countered with one of the following:
a) Sure! You can write the check out to me…. Or, can I have that in cash?
b) Well…would you mind if I paid for your lobotomy?

At a big 4th of July party, the children played in the grass of the golf course below – and the adults watched from the deck above. As I relaxed and watched over my children, the woman next to me asked me which children were mine. I pointed out all eight of them. She looked out and I could see that she was thinking hard about something. Finally, she says – as if this is a major epiphany - “They’re all different colors.” I replied “Mmmm, hmmm…….they all have different dads.” I waited and watched her face as that fit somewhere into her brain, haha. No, I did not feel the need to point out that they also had different birth mothers nor that they were adopted. She didn’t ask, right?

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As I was recalling some of these incidents with my husband, he brought up a very interesting point to consider. I, the female, have heard hundreds of these comments over the years. However, he has received almost none. As the male, it seems that it is considered positive, brave, admirable and cool for him to have children and/or to foster or adopt. We have no answers as to why, but it has been interesting for us to ponder why there would be differences.

Meanwhile, I’ll just try to smile where I can and enjoy my children every chance I get. All of those busybodies could only hope to be as blessed as this mom!

Rude Comments - Part One

7 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Sandra Hanks Benoiton [Member]

· http://international.adoptionblogs.com/

I also suspect a punch in the nose is considered more likely from a man.

Shouldn't stun gun use be legalized in these circumstances. Shock therapy can be a real learning experience.

Permalink 03/04/07 @ 23:40

Comment from: Veronika [Member]

I second Sandra's suggestion. One zap and they'll think twice before opening their mouthes.

Permalink 03/05/07 @ 04:50

Comment from: Holly [Member]

· http://africa-adoption.adoptionblogs.com

LOL - I've never had anyone offer to pay for a hysterectomy - that's a new one! We've used the "different dads" line as well, on our "virtual" triplets, all 3 different skin colors. Greg told that person they were actually born three months apart, too. . . . .

Permalink 03/05/07 @ 07:12

Comment from: Faith Allen [Member]

· http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/

Well…would you mind if I paid for your lobotomy?

Permalink 03/05/07 @ 14:39

Comment from: Faith Allen [Member]

· http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/

Sorry -- The rest of my comment cut off. I said . . .

ROFL!! I gotta remember that line.

My jaw literally dropped when I read what that woman said to you. Un-freaking-believable. People can be so rude!!

- Faith

Permalink 03/05/07 @ 14:41

Comment from: Kelly [Member]

· http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com

It amazes me how people think they can say or do anything they want.

Our rudest comment was in regard to our bi-racial foster daughter. Someone I knew, and I considered a friend, looked at her and said..

"What is she?"

I calmly replied....

"My daughter" :)

I will be saving the wonderful comebacks listed for when I need them. Thanks to all you clever women!!

Permalink 03/05/07 @ 18:53

Comment from: siss_sunflower [Member]

A good come back I heard a fellow Adoptive Mother give out the other day.

A woman sitting next to me at a bridal shower was sharing her adoption experience with her Daughter from China - and I was sharing mine of domestic adoption too -

Oh here comes someone who is 1/2 overhearing us talk. She turns to the other woman beside me and says how many children do you have the woman replys I have two teen boys and now my little girl from China and she's been with us since she was 11months old.

Here comes the ouch question - what are your other children?? The woman beside me looks here right in the eye and says BOYS again with out a thought. Basically shutting the curious woman down - I loved this
she took a question which we both knew was rude/because there is no doubt the lady ment nationality -- come on what are your other children?? How stupid can the things that come out of the mouths of the clueless be.

I have heard a few so far they are something like this: aren't you afraid by keeping contact your Son's Birthmother will try to take him back, or people saying she just gives you a sob story so you help her out - or you don't owe her anything. I mostly just walk away at this time - and figure some people just don't know when to be quiet.

The worst is something I put in another comment - being asked by a friend a week or so ago, does your son see his mother - ahhhhhhh break my heart why don't you I am his mother - I said back" YES we have visits/send pics and letters to his Birthmother! I know people just have questions sometimes but man they way they word things can cut like a knife. ( I wanted to say yes he sees me every day)

Spilling over now-
Laura A

Permalink 03/16/07 @ 23:13

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