I recently had an interesting discussion with a fellow Mommy about our roles as Mothers. I mentioned that I struggle between being a strict authority figure or a warm fuzzy “you can come to me for anything” type Mama. I don’t want to be a “do as I say not as I do” type Mom but then again I’m seeing so much wrong with kids these days compared to the ideals and values that I grew up with.


My friend felt that you can have it both ways… be best friends and be firm. She feels that she has found a happy medium. I feel that I get walked all over if I’m too lax and feel guilt ridden if I pull out my old school ways of parenting. I’m searching for my happy medium on a daily basis.


My fear is that If Im too friendly then I will raise a stinker, and If Im to strict I will not have a warm & fuzzy relationship in the future. I guess I want the best of both worlds.While there are many tactics I do not wish to carry on from my childhood. My Mom did have the right idea about some things.


The good news is that I can take what works for me and toss the old worn out ideas. I said in a post a while back that it’s not my concern to be my child’s best friend, but I view my role as a guide and teacher. But I was not completely honest in that post.

I would be lying if I said that I did not envision my grown daughter and I arm in arm shopping and sharing secrets. I envision my daughter coming to me for my sage advice. Respecting my opinion and sharing her inner most feelings. I never had that with my Mother.


So how do you nurture and create a relationship with your child that is both firm and friendly? I know that my child may not always like me. That’s ok. I think that what I plan to do that my parents lacked is giving choices, empowering and explaining my reasoning for rules. Have you found a happy medium? How do you know what is the right way to parent?

Picture: Livi & Mama