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Sometimes, as in the picture here, rules make no sense at all! Hopefully, with our kids, we’re able to come up with rules that have logical consequences that help kids make sense of all these rules!
Parenting books line the shelves of every major bookstore and library in the country. How can we find the right parenting books that work for us and our children? I first parented a son, an easy-going biologically-born-to-me son. I checked out parenting books, every idea worked on my easy little child. I assumed I had read and learned well. Because this child was so easy, we should have another. Right? The second child was, is, probably always will be very negative, oppositional and argumentative. And we learned. We learned that two parents, parenting two children in much the same way as each other, can be parenting two completely different children with different needs. We sought out completely different parenting books and advice for this daughter.
Later, we added foster and adoptive children to our family. Each child came with a very unique set of background, temperament, and issues. Most children we ended up working with had significantly disturbed diagnoses, including reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and other mental illnesses. We were not prepared for these issues and not at all sure how to parent these kids at first. As soon as we knew what problems we were working with, we set out to find out more information and ended up with our own shelves of “how to” parenting books for kids with severe issues.
As I continued to add to our library, learning more all the time, it was suggested that we read the book Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. I LOVED it. This book focused on natural and logical consequences in such a clear and concise way that it just made sense. Fun and humor is also considered extremely important – which happens to also be a must in any parent/child bonding. Even better, the ideas made sense for all of my children. The ideas could work on my clinically disturbed children, my ever pessimistic daughter, and that first born son (who still is no problem to parent – a good “practice child”, lol)? We purchased another book of theirs as well, Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. Both of those books – and more importantly their ideas – have become a most integral part of our parenting and of how our family works. (There are several other books, including Parenting Toddlers with Love and Logic and Teaching With Love and Logic. I’ve read only the first two that I mentioned, but am interested in checking out some of these others.)
When asked for ideas for parenting advice or reading material, the Love and Logic series is my first suggested. I definitely recommend it to other parents!
Article: Great review of the Love and Logic theory
The official Love and Logic website
Amazon website listing (Amazon.com does sell some of the books. I’m not recommending any sales company over the other – and, if anything, would suggest you check out discount or used book sites first to save your family some money. I know many who have read copies from their public library, but I prefer to have my own company to review regularly.)
