Comments on: Insecurities about Adopted Child’s Relationship with Birthparents http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/insecurities-about-adopted-child-s-relat News and information on parenting the adopted child. Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:01:19 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: shart1141 http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/insecurities-about-adopted-child-s-relat/comment-page-1#comment-480 shart1141 Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:55:45 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/12/11/insecurities-about-adopted-child-s-relat#comment-480 I found out about my 13 year old daughter this past summer. Her mother never told me about her and worse, she was adopted in Indiana through a public notice adoption 10 years ago. (Unlike Ohio, Michigan and most other states, including where I and my daughter was born and now live, under Indiana law, the birth father does not have to be told about an adoptive if he does not know she was ever born.) Before my daughter was told it was me, her mom told her that I was never told about her being pregnant or being born. The adoptive dad did not want her to be told until she was 18. That could not happen because too many people in town know that I am her real father and never have said anything to me or my family because they assumed there was an agreement, given that she was adopted. I offerred to leave after I found out, but her mother said it was time for her to know who her real dad is. I guess she has asked why she has blonde hair and blue eyes. I am quite miffed by the entire situation. If she had not left the state or moved to a state that requires me to be told, I would have known about her much earlier. I never would have consented for her to be adopted. What I find interesting are the people who think it is wrong that she was told at age 13. I never signed any papers giving her away. The DNA test proved the fact that everyone sees. Another note, the adoptive father is an ex-felon, so stealing another man's child is easy, if one can steal another man's money. Finally, it appears that the mother and adoptive father are going to get a divorce. Whatever the adoptive father is feeling is not my problem. There are right ways and wrong ways to do adoptions. Knowingly and maliciously using an unscrupulous lawyer to facilitate a public notice adoption where the birth father is purposefully not informed created this situation. My daughter at the age of 13 is now in the situation of finding out that people and school friends who she has known for years are her relatives. What are my rights? I never signed away my daughter and never willfully abandoned her. (One has to know about a situation to willfully act on it.) The lawyers are going to have fun with this one after they are divorced. Bottomline: Indiana needs to change its adoption laws so a child can't be stolen from the birth father if the mother knows who the birth father is. I found out about my 13 year old daughter this past summer. Her mother never told me about her and worse, she was adopted in Indiana through a public notice adoption 10 years ago. (Unlike Ohio, Michigan and most other states, including where I and my daughter was born and now live, under Indiana law, the birth father does not have to be told about an adoptive if he does not know she was ever born.)

Before my daughter was told it was me, her mom told her that I was never told about her being pregnant or being born. The adoptive dad did not want her to be told until she was 18. That could not happen because too many people in town know that I am her real father and never have said anything to me or my family because they assumed there was an agreement, given that she was adopted.

I offerred to leave after I found out, but her mother said it was time for her to know who her real dad is. I guess she has asked why she has blonde hair and blue eyes. I am quite miffed by the entire situation. If she had not left the state or moved to a state that requires me to be told, I would have known about her much earlier. I never would have consented for her to be adopted.

What I find interesting are the people who think it is wrong that she was told at age 13. I never signed any papers giving her away. The DNA test proved the fact that everyone sees. Another note, the adoptive father is an ex-felon, so stealing another man’s child is easy, if one can steal another man’s money. Finally, it appears that the mother and adoptive father are going to get a divorce.

Whatever the adoptive father is feeling is not my problem. There are right ways and wrong ways to do adoptions. Knowingly and maliciously using an unscrupulous lawyer to facilitate a public notice adoption where the birth father is purposefully not informed created this situation. My daughter at the age of 13 is now in the situation of finding out that people and school friends who she has known for years are her relatives.

What are my rights? I never signed away my daughter and never willfully abandoned her. (One has to know about a situation to willfully act on it.) The lawyers are going to have fun with this one after they are divorced. Bottomline: Indiana needs to change its adoption laws so a child can’t be stolen from the birth father if the mother knows who the birth father is.

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