What sounds like a minor problem can often turn into quite a large homework issue. The problem is how do we help a child who constantly wanders or has difficulty sitting still to do homework? In particular, how can we help an adopted child who may have special issues to work around?(The following suggestions can work well a child with ADHD or a child without ADHD.)

If the child is wandering because he has a case of “wiggles”, it can help if mom offers an additional homework “assignment” of getting the wiggles out. For example, ask him to “First, run around the house 5 times” or “Before you get started, do 9 jumping jacks, 4 toe touches and 2 push-ups”. With wiggles out, some kids are able to sit and concentrate much better.

If the child is having difficulty sitting still because he’s distracted, try offering “focus incentives”. The incentives offer the focus. For example, put m&ms on a plate (A full size plate with only a few candies, for some reason, has had the best results.). While the child does his math work, he stops after each problem to have a candy. It’s nothing major, but brings the focus to the table, to the candies, and to the book. It breaks up monotony and jitters and brings the focus repeatedly back to the homework.

If the child keeps wandering, seeking out human interactions, it may just be that today he’s not emotionally ready to be on his own. I think sometimes we might expect too much. Sure, most days, Jimmy can do homework on his own just fine. Today, however, he keeps coming to ask mom questions. Is he trying to harass or manipulate?? I can be real. Harassment or manipulation is a good possibility. But, it isn’t always the case. Sometimes, he might just need some extra human interaction. We all have days where we need more interaction, more company, maybe a little more touch? If we have those needs, and no attachment and bonding problems, it makes sense that Jimmy will need this sometimes as well. Try to think of it positively. Jimmy needs you and is seeking you out. That is MAJOR STUFF in the world of attachment! Must you drop everything for the afternoon and sit with Jimmy? Yes and no. I think it’s important that mom be the one who meets that need of human interaction. It’s still Jimmy’s homework to finish and not yours. Yet, it can do a world of good for both of you if you find a place to just sit next to him while he does his homework. During these times, I work on paying bills, writing letters, sorting papers, reading a magazine, or doing a crossword puzzle. I’m busy. Jimmy’s busy. His homework is being completed. We are bonding.

Other blogs on Homework Concerns:
Homework Hassles
Routines: Snack, Chore, Bedroom, Homework
Refusal To Do Homework