Comments on: Helping Adopted Child Make Peace with Abuse History http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab News and information on parenting the adopted child. Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:01:19 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Faith Allen http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab/comment-page-1#comment-1418 Faith Allen Tue, 11 Sep 2007 23:51:10 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/09/11/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab#comment-1418 Framing from a point of weakness is helpful. When you are a child, you see your abusers as very strong and all-powerful. It has taken me a lot of time to see how weak they all really were. <br /> <br /> It also took me a long time to stop blaming myself for abuses that I suffered and not to see myself as tainted because of it. This comes from learning to love yourself and accepting yourself as you are.<br /> <br /> Take care,<br /> <br /> - Faith Framing from a point of weakness is helpful. When you are a child, you see your abusers as very strong and all-powerful. It has taken me a lot of time to see how weak they all really were.

It also took me a long time to stop blaming myself for abuses that I suffered and not to see myself as tainted because of it. This comes from learning to love yourself and accepting yourself as you are.

Take care,

- Faith

]]> By: Sunbonnet Sue http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab/comment-page-1#comment-1417 Sunbonnet Sue Tue, 11 Sep 2007 22:43:03 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/09/11/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab#comment-1417 Faith, thanks for this info. It is really helpful. My little boy was reading some info from our church a few days ago. He was surprised, and asked me, "Am I reading this right? Do they really want ME?" I told him Jesus wanted him, and the people at church loved him too. He replied. "Don't they know what a big sinner I am?" We're working on it, he's just as worthy as anyone, for sure. The picture idea is great. I also like the thought of framing the birth parents actions from a point of weakness. Faith, thanks for this info. It is really helpful. My little boy was reading some info from our church a few days ago. He was surprised, and asked me, “Am I reading this right? Do they really want ME?” I told him Jesus wanted him, and the people at church loved him too. He replied. “Don’t they know what a big sinner I am?” We’re working on it, he’s just as worthy as anyone, for sure. The picture idea is great. I also like the thought of framing the birth parents actions from a point of weakness.

]]> By: Faith Allen http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab/comment-page-1#comment-1416 Faith Allen Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:48:15 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/09/11/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab#comment-1416 Absolutely!! That was, by far, the most difficult part for me.<br /> <br /> One thing that helped me was to look at a photograph of myself as a child. At first, I completely HATED that little girl. However, I pushed past that and started to imagine I was seeing that little girl on the street. I noticed the sadness in her eyes and looked at her tiny little hands and feet, and I found a little bit of compassion inside of myself. That was my starting point because, as I learned to love her, I started to love myself.<br /> <br /> Take care,<br /> <br /> - Faith Absolutely!! That was, by far, the most difficult part for me.

One thing that helped me was to look at a photograph of myself as a child. At first, I completely HATED that little girl. However, I pushed past that and started to imagine I was seeing that little girl on the street. I noticed the sadness in her eyes and looked at her tiny little hands and feet, and I found a little bit of compassion inside of myself. That was my starting point because, as I learned to love her, I started to love myself.

Take care,

- Faith

]]> By: John http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab/comment-page-1#comment-1415 John Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:37:24 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/09/11/helping-adopted-child-make-peace-with-ab#comment-1415 With a really damaged child, I think the toughest part is teaching the child to love himself. A long process with many steps backwards. John With a really damaged child, I think the toughest part is teaching the child to love himself. A long process with many steps backwards. John

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