June 19th, 2011
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645389_father_and_sonIt’s Father’s Day and across the country dads are opening up presents: ties, barbecue tools, car gadgets, the latest technological mechanism guaranteed to make their life easier.  Or perhaps they are going to spend the day on the golf course–after breakfast in bed, no doubt!  Whatever it is, I hope all dads get to celebrate.

I’ve made this observation before, but it seems that the adoption literature is full of stories written by adoptive mothers.  We hear their voices and know their perspective.  No doubt it has to do with the fact that when it comes to adoption, often it is the woman who is the driving force.

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But what of adoptive fathers?  Who are these men who willingly go along with their wives when the topic of adoption is brought up?  Who are these guys who trust that they will love a daughter or son born to another man?  Who completes the necessary paperwork, contributing their biography for the home study? Who dutifully cleans the house before the social worker comes?  And who often sacrifices vast amounts of money so children can join their family?   Or who attends MAPP classes if foster care is their route to adoption?
Who are these folks who go without sleep caring for their children when they are sick?  Who teach their kids the difference between a ball and a strike?  And the difference between right and wrong?

Who are these guys who spend hours throwing and kicking balls in the backyard, sharing the rules of professional sports–like when a two-point conversion makes sense as opposed to setting for the extra point in pro football?  Who are these special men who sit attentively during music concerts and plays?  Who joyously cheer their children’s achievements on the soccer field or the baseball diamond?

Granted, ALL dads are special, but to me, adoptive fathers are truly a rare breed.  And I think they deserve a special acknowledgement.

Thank you for your courage to trust that you WILL love your adopted children.  And thank you for your ability to actually love them once they are in your home.

Here’s to you!  Happy Father’s Day.

I hope you get the best looking tie in the store!

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5 Responses to “Happy Father’s Day!”

  1. mommyof1 says:

    LOVE this post! It is so true! In our case, hubby was a man who knew I wanted more than anything to be a mommy- he knew that with SLE there were too many risks to my health to have a safe pregnancy. It takes a very special man to love and marry a woman with SLE and all that entails and to then be on board 150% with the adoption process is more than I ever expected! Our baby is daddy’s girl and hubby despite working crazy hours as a doctor comes home and assumes daddy mode. He is an amazing husband and a wonderful father and this blog is a great tribute to him and men like him! PS He didn’t get a tie because he hates them but he got a shirt that says this is what a cool dad looks like! :)

    • mattsgirlhaley says:

      Margie C, The article was fantastic! Very moving and very true.
      Mommyof1, It always amazes me the way God moves and gives you exactly what you need when you need it. My husband and I have been given an opportunity to privately adopt a newborn from a teenager that we know. Since it is state law we have to have the home study done including a medical history, as far as I can tell. I also have SLE and we both have been immensely worried that we would be turned down because of this it possibly will shorten my life span. I had been reading the regulations again hoping that I could find information concerning diseases such as SLE and home study approval. This blog caught my eye and I read it because my hubby is also 150% behind me. You could not even imagine my relief when I read your post. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it has meant the world to me!!

      • Margie C says:

        Thank you mommy of 1 and mattsgirl. Best of luck with your adoption! I am glad you have supportive people in your lives! It can make all the difference.

  2. adoptionstar says:

    This is a great post, and it definitely takes a great deal of courage to become an adoptive father, or mother for that matter. I also agree that much of the adoption literature you find is written from the adoptive mother’s point of view.

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