How should parents respond to help a child with eating issues?

• Place a container of food in their room that you keep full. Include sugary foods as comfort foods. (Other posters suggested that only healthy foods be included.)




• Fill a cupboard with healthy snacks. Lock other cabinets and refrigerator. Allow the child unlimited access to the cupboard with the healthy snacks.



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• Similarly, set aside a shelf in the refrigerator that is always stocked with foods that the child can grab when he likes. Ideas included bananas, apples, applesauce cups, carrots, cheese, yogurt or gogurts, juices, water bottles or other drinks.



• Be careful not to make it a big deal or a control battle. Do not allow yourself to be upset nor pleased by whether or not the child is eating large amounts or sneaking food. If it’s not a control battle, you certainly don’t want to set things up for it to become one!

• The one most recommended by therapists that have worked with my kids is the “food pack” – a backpack or fanny pack or even lunch box – that is packed daily with foods. If the sneaking/hoarding occurs mostly at night, then be sure to “pack their lunch” nightly before bedtime. One important aspect, especially so if the eating issue is truly one of not trusting adults to provide ample food, is that the food be packed by mom and given to the child – and that the child notice this each day. Sometimes it helps to have an overanxious child help mom with the packing. This way the child can retain some of the needed control by being able to see with his own eyes that foods have been packed.



• Similarly, I have my kids who struggle with hoarding, sneaking, food trust issues be my special helpers in the kitchen. When they are able to help with the food preparation, they still get to be in control while working with mom at the same time to be sure there is plenty of food for the family. Gradually the child is able to give up control, bit by bit.



• Accompanying on grocery shopping trips gives the child a chance to see that there really is adequate food coming in to the house.



• At our house, we have an ongoing shopping list on the refrigerator. Anyone is allowed to write anything down on the list and I will buy it. When they realize that I really will read the list and I really will (within reason of course) purchase their request, it’s amazing to see how quickly they are willing to attempt to trust that mom can meet their needs and keep their tummies full. This one method has been the most beneficial for us, by far.
  
  A funny story with the “shopping list” idea is when our Geraldo first came home. He asked if we had any “white donuts”. I told him I would put it on the list. When I went to the store, I bought a package of the powdered sugar gem donuts for Geraldo, uncharacteristically puffed up with my smartness about it. I brought them home for him. He said thank you. And they sat on the counter. After a week, I asked if he was going to eat the donuts. “No. I don’t like them. I just wanted to know if you would really get me some.” It was a test…I hope I sorta passed. With everyone else, it seems they ask for such basic things and then seem surprised when I actually buy it. Things that have been put on the list include a banana, a green apple, a specific flavor of applesauce, water “with a pull top”, raisins. Only once, and in jest, was anything ‘over the top’ put on to the list. I definitely recommend giving this a try if you’re working with kids old enough to voice something they would like.