Frequently Asked Questions week:


When people find out that our daughter is adopted they usually have the same questions.The one that always surprises me is will you tell her she is adopted? Or Does she know she is adopted? I guess these come as a surprise to me because I can’t imagine an adoption being kept a secret. I know in the past this was the case. But in this day & age I cant imagine someone not knowing they are adopted. How we became a family is such a special story. I don’t point out that she is adopted but I don’t hide it either. I never wanted her to have an “ adopted” label. It’s how we became a family, and we are proud of it, but it should not define who she is as a person.

I respond to those questions in the following way. Does she know she is adopted? She is only 2 years old, so I doubt she understands the concept.I tell her she was born in Mama’s heart. I have created a special scrapbook for her and we look at it often and tell her the story. Will we tell her? We already are and we will tell her all we know. Even the parts of her story that are not easy to tell. We want to protect her, and there are details of her story im afraid will cause her pain. I have read that being totally honest from the start is the best and we will always be honest with her.


It’s her story to tell and I plan to empower her with that as soon as she understands and she may share her story as she pleases. We will respect her wishes and we understand her wishes may change. I wish I could protect her from the stupid questions, the prejudices, the pain she may experience as a result of being adopted. It’s my hope that by being honest with her from the start that she knows how much we love & respect her. By honoring her past, respecting her story, and sharing it with her in an open & honest way we hope she always feels that being adopted is a special thing because she truly is special to us.

How have you told your child about his/her adoption? at what age?Any tips on telling the not so easy to tell stuff?


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