Time outs are the big fad of this generation. I have used them myself with varying levels of success. I found that time outs worked better when my son was younger. As he has moved on to his school-age years, I find that putting objects into time out works much more effectively to curb his behavior than putting him into time out.

People do time outs in different ways, but most agree on the formula of one minute of time out per year of life. For example, you would put a two-year-old child into time out for two minutes. When my son was a toddler, I gave him a time out to his crib, and this was very effective. For preschoolers and up, you can give a child a time out to his room, to a chair, or in a corner. The key is to make sure the child stays in time out without you having to hold him there. Otherwise, the negative attention can encourage bad behavior in some children. (It definitely does in mine!) Also, the child needs to be in a place that is boring.

I have found that putting objects into time out can be a very effective form of discipline. For example, if my son does not clean up his toys, they go into a "time out basket" that is in plain view but out of reach for a day. My son can see what he is missing, which reminds him to clean up his toys the next time. If I want to curb my son's behavior, I will threaten to put his favorite object into time out for a day. (For my son, this is usually his bicycle.) I remember from my teenage years how effective putting a car into "time out" can be!

Time outs are a good alternative to spanking, particularly for children who have been physically abused before being adopted. However, be careful using time outs with a child who has issues with abandonment or who has suffered warped forms of time out. For example, if before his adoption a child was locked in a closet for hours at a time, I would hesitate to use a time out as a method of discipline. You want the change in behavior to come from thinking about what the child did wrong, not out of fear that you are going to abandon him.

My personal issue with putting a child into time out is the time element. For example, my son loves to dawdle, which can make us late for appointments. I build in lots of transition time, but sometimes he will dawdle just to get a reaction out of me. If I put him into a six-minute time out for dawdling, I am only making us even more late while "rewarding" the behavior.

Time outs seem to be more effective for active children. Some passive little girls might enjoy getting a time out in their rooms where they get to sit and read. However, active little boys who have trouble sitting still for two minutes are more likely to change their behavior to avoid a time out.

Related Topics:

• Behavior Management: Time Out/Time In



• How to Help an ADHD Child Take a Time Out

Photo credit: Faith Allen