Comments on: Dilemma of the Week – Name Changes http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes News and information on parenting the adopted child. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:42:25 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Marie Stroughter http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes/comment-page-1#comment-1429 Marie Stroughter Wed, 28 May 2008 20:33:31 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/04/30/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes#comment-1429 Sounds like a good compromise. Sounds like a good compromise.

]]> By: twistwood http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes/comment-page-1#comment-1428 twistwood Wed, 28 May 2008 18:15:00 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/04/30/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes#comment-1428 My husband and I are about to adopt four children and we want their names to be significant to both us and the birth family. What we decided to do is keep one name from the birth family, one name of significance to us and one Christian name and of course our last name. We want the children to be part of their name and to help create it with our help. Do you all think this is a good idea? Because of the circumstances of their being taken from the family they will have no contact with the birth family members. My husband and I are about to adopt four children and we want their names to be significant to both us and the birth family. What we decided to do is keep one name from the birth family, one name of significance to us and one Christian name and of course our last name. We want the children to be part of their name and to help create it with our help. Do you all think this is a good idea? Because of the circumstances of their being taken from the family they will have no contact with the birth family members.

]]> By: Marie Stroughter http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes/comment-page-1#comment-1427 Marie Stroughter Fri, 02 May 2008 04:44:02 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/04/30/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes#comment-1427 It's hard to say, you know? Because at that age, kids go through so many phases. My kids constantly tell me what they are going to name their own children, and it changes all the time!<br /> <br /> And, there may be more at play than just the name change. The birth family may feel they are being "replaced" or are having insecurities because they may feel "left out" or that the child is going to transfer all of their affection to you.<br /> <br /> So, without an open, honest dialog about it, it's hard to know. Do yuo have a close enough relationship with them to talk about it? It’s hard to say, you know? Because at that age, kids go through so many phases. My kids constantly tell me what they are going to name their own children, and it changes all the time!

And, there may be more at play than just the name change. The birth family may feel they are being “replaced” or are having insecurities because they may feel “left out” or that the child is going to transfer all of their affection to you.

So, without an open, honest dialog about it, it’s hard to know. Do yuo have a close enough relationship with them to talk about it?

]]> By: Julia Fuller http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes/comment-page-1#comment-1426 Julia Fuller Fri, 02 May 2008 02:28:19 +0000 http://adoptive-par.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/04/30/dilemma-of-the-week-name-changes#comment-1426 What a neat idea, combining the two short names into one. Our 10 yo daughter we adopted in November really wanted to change her name to her middle name. However, everyone already knew her by her first name because we fostered her. We still let her change it and she asked all of her friends to call her by the new name. Unexpectedly, her maternal grandfather was very upset and refused to talk to her after that. Many of her birth family members still call her by the previous first name and she doesn't correct them. They all know that she was the one who insisted on changing her name, my husband and his father really tried to talk her out of it. Don't you think it is a little rude of them to not accept her choice of names? What a neat idea, combining the two short names into one. Our 10 yo daughter we adopted in November really wanted to change her name to her middle name. However, everyone already knew her by her first name because we fostered her. We still let her change it and she asked all of her friends to call her by the new name. Unexpectedly, her maternal grandfather was very upset and refused to talk to her after that. Many of her birth family members still call her by the previous first name and she doesn’t correct them. They all know that she was the one who insisted on changing her name, my husband and his father really tried to talk her out of it. Don’t you think it is a little rude of them to not accept her choice of names?

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