When my first grandchild was born, I insisted that my daughter let me baby sit for her when she returned to work. She may have been a little surprised because she came to live with us as a teenager and we adopted her when she was 15. During those days just after my granddaughter’s birth, I went to visit her and rock her almost everyday. My daughter had to return to work when her daughter was only five weeks old to support her. As you can imagine, I really bonded with my granddaughter during those early weeks. Eventually, our daughter Ami was born and placed with us through private adoption. I took a part-time job, my daughter got married, had another baby, and I wasn’t the regular babysitter anymore.

Occasionally, my grandchildren spend the night so their parents can go out on a date. They are attached to my daughter, and enjoy coming over to play, because they are all so close in age. One is 11 months older than my daughter, and one is nine months younger. It makes for a handful when they are all here. Now that the oldest is two and a half years old, she and I continue to have a special bond. Clearly, it was developed during those early weeks of precious care that I thoroughly enjoyed.

I was a little surprised when my daughter called to ask me to consider babysitting her children again. She asked me to consider quitting my part-time job to baby sit for her daughters and offered to pay me my average weekly earnings. She currently lives very close to her employer and I do not. Instead of a five-minute trip to work, she would have well over an hour to bring her children here. When I pointed this out, she said it was worth it to her. I do miss seeing my grandchildren everyday. I also enjoy getting out of the house occasionally to work and communicate with other adults. Working with a close relative usually has its own problems as well.

I am both honored and apprehensive. Three toddlers at home can make homeschooling quite a challenge. It also makes it a little difficult to enjoy summer days outside on the farm with the horses.

Prematurely Grandparents – Adopting an Older Child
Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2007