In the first two blogs, I talked about some of my childrens' cussing behaviors and some fun ideas we've tried for consequences.

• Ideas for Parenting a Child Who Likes to Swear
• Cussing on Paper

Above all, regardless of the method you use to consequence a child with a colorful vocabulary, remember to have a positive attitude. For me, if I’m able to have a little fun with it, that goes a LONG way in ensuring that I might keep what little is left of my sanity. If *I* am having fun, then it’s easier for everyone to have fun. Fun experiences together = opportunities for more bonding and attachment. For my own self, I’m generally not drawn to pursue a better relationship with someone very unpleasant; I think the same is true of our kids. If we can find some way to stay pleasant, they will WANT to be around us and the feeling will become mutual.

**As I wrote some of these ideas, particularly the writing ideas, it struck me that you all might have some of the same initial responses that we often do. Namely, the kid, after being asked to spend so much time with his word of choice, announces “I don’t care.” As tempting as it is to offer a response, DON”T. That’s what I said. Don’t offer a response whatsoever to the announcement of whether or not the child cares or wants you to know that he doesn’t care. I’ve found that any response – even a “thanks for letting me know” – ends up sucking the two of us into a verbal battle. No one ever truly wins those battles. Instead, remind yourself that you asked the child to write his special word 500 times. You did NOT ask him to also care. As long as he’s writing, it isn’t necessary to answer oppositional comments.
It is absolutely important, for ongoing bonding with a resistant child, to try hard to not become angry. Don’t take this behavior personally. It’s not personal to you. It’s often something learned before they ever knew you. It’s a defense mechanism used to protect themselves. Hopefully, one day, they won’t need this. Until they do, find ways to help them that still allow YOU, the parent, to find some humor or at least a smile.

It is possible to send a message to a child that you LOVE him, even LIKE him AND he will have a consequence for cruddy behavior. I’ve even had times where I’ve sat next to one of my kids while he writes his words that he loves. In times where we’ve sat next to each other and found ways to smile and joke during his consequence – and even connect in ways that I wouldn’t have realized possible. A couple of these comments are among those that I most treasure of those that have helped build a stronger, more attached relationship between my and my most beloved (albeit currently foul mouthed) child.