You know sometimes this Parenting business is hard work…well not just sometimes but all the time. When you add the attachment parenting to the mix it can get really hard. That leaves one worn out Mama. Holding time can be emotionally and physically draining. My husband respects my wishes about holding time but wants no part of it. He can see the payoff but does not really like it or agree with it. I have asked him to read up on it and encouraged him to express his concerns and do his research for and against it.After all we are a team and if he could bring a good educated argument to the table against it, I would have to consider it.


I have asked him to do a family ht and he has declined. He has yet to read any attachment books. He won’t discuss Holding time with me and just insists he doesn’t like to watch her like that. No kidding buddy…. Its not fun or easy but as someone wise told me if you want the good stuff you have deal with the not so good stuff. Its not fun seeing all the angries our little angel has. While my daughter is attached to both my husband and I. Her attachment to me is much stronger. That could be because I’m with her all the time; It could be because I’m the Mom, but I think it’s more about the tools I use to help that bond. I recently noticed my daughter would not look my husband in the eye. I told him if she is not looking you in the eye then she is not bonding. I have been working really hard with her on this. He has since got on board and plays games with her to encourage eye contact. I’m proud of him for that.


He listened to me and I feel he wanted her to connect with him. A positive thing about my husband is that he trusts my opinion. I wish he took more of an active role in parenting. I sometimes feel as if im doing all the “ work” and he gets to play and be the fun one. In the same vein I do get much of the “good stuff” affection & cuddles because I have done most of the attachment work. I worry about good cop- bad cop issues popping up in the future. Papa being the easy going one and me being the rule enforcer. Sometimes it does not feel fair that he is just winging it and im putting so much effort into parenting. Can anyone relate? Any tips or ideas?