I had a light bulb moment recently. I thought I would share it with you all. I realized that I had been making a mistake with Livi. I had fallen into a way of parenting and done what I have seen so many others do. I first realized it when observing my daughter in her occupational and speech therapy playgroup.


I noticed that Livi’s therapist offered her choices several times in the hour long session.Red cup or Green cup…. pick one. White smock or yellow smock.. pick one please. Fish crackers or teddy bear crackers… choose please.


When first offered choices Livi would answer “okay”. She did not know how to pick and she just shrugged her shoulders and said okay to both choices. The Therapist would gently remind her to please pick the one she wanted, after a few tries and seeing her friends choose, she caught on to the idea.

Livi initially had a hard time making choices and still struggles for a few minutes. This is where patience on my part comes into play. I need to make sure I have the time for her to pick and to allow her to change her mind.



Livi was given more choices in an hour than I was giving her in a week. Livi loved this and emulated her favorite teacher at home during play by asking me to “pick one.” How could I have missed this, after all I knew all about offering choices?


I think I just fell into the habit of doing things for my daughter. It was easier and faster to just give her a cup of juice. Giving her a choice takes time and effort. Sure she is capable of putting on her own shoes but I can get it done faster. I just was not offering her choices at home. I make an effort now to do so. I think that by having a choice she feels empowered… don’t we all love making our own choices?



I also wanted to share that the choices her teachers offered were always simple choices. It’s never do you want to wear your coat today? Do you want to brush your teeth? Those are not choices you want to offer. I learned that I have several opportunities every day to give Livi more choices.


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