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Sometimes posts about adoption can get me feeling a bit down. Topics like “adoptive grief” or “adoption loss” definitely have their place, but adoption is not solely about grief and loss. Adoption is also about joy! It is about families coming together and agreeing to be related forever even though they do not share the same DNA.
I have experienced pain and frustration while going through the adoption process, but most of what I have experienced has been positive. Without adoption, I would not be a mother today. I would not have my precious son reminding me about the joys of being alive without adoption.
I know many adoptive families, and every single adoptive parent I know pours herself into her kids. Like most families, the family members love each other, but the adoptive families I know take it a step further: They enjoy their family members.
I am not saying that all adoptive families are perfect. You only need to read Nancy’s Reactive Attachment Disorder blog to see the difficulties that some adoptive families face. However, what shines through Nancy’s posts, as well as many other posts about adoptive families, is the deep level of commitment that the parents have toward their children. Even in situations where there is not much to enjoy, the adoptive parents savor the positive moments fully when they come.
All families face struggles. Some struggles arise from terrible things the child experienced before he ever joined his adoptive home. Other struggles arise from life itself. Adoptive families are no different from biological families in this respect. I am also not intending to imply that no biological families share these traits. I know several that do.
The thing I see many adoptive families do consistently is fully appreciate the joy of being a family. Perhaps this comes from the grueling adoption process, which weeds out many hopeful parents, or perhaps it comes from having to wait so long to come together as a family. Regardless of why, I feel blessed each time I meet another adoptive family. The love they feel for one another shines through.
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Photo Credit: Lynda Bernhardt
