Caroline has been sharing the story of her adoption from Russia at the age of 11. Today, she tells about events leading to the disruption of her first adoption.

You came from Russia to America. Your parents were trying to parent you, but ended up sending you to two different families to spend some time. Did you stay with families other than those first two? Yes. Our parents took us to another state to stay with a family that they knew. We were there about three months and went to school there. This family had two parents and a LOT of kids. Their kids had all sorts of problems, but there were some from Russia like we were and some that also used to have troubles in their first adoptive families.

Did your parents tell you why you were going to stay with this other family? They said that certain things were going on at home and that we needed to stay here for a while. They didn’t tell you that it was because of your behaviors? No. They never said anything to me about that, not until later after we went back home from this house. But, I’m not stupid; of course I knew that this was because I was doing something wrong.

How were things with you and your adoptive family after you returned home to live with them again? Did things at least start out good? Yes, they started out good. But, then, I started to get in trouble all the time. They took me to see a therapist who said I was crazy.

Your parents tell that you were misbehaving a lot during this time – being mean to the other children, lying, stealing, and a lot of other things. What do you say about that? Do you think you were behaving badly? Yes and no. I was being mean to one of the brothers, but not to the other children. He was a really mean kid, too. So I stuck up for me and for the other girls, too. I really liked the other boys though and wasn’t mean to them. I sometimes stole candy, nothing else. I didn’t lie, really, but one time I had the older brother’s toy in a cabinet and didn’t tell anyone where it was.

When you did misbehave, was it on purpose? Yeah. So, you knew you were being a pain in the butt? Yes. They were being mean to me and their boys were threatening us and being mean to us and to my littlest sister. I didn’t do things to upset the parents on purpose in the beginning, but after a while, I did. I never really thought I was “bad” though.

When did you find out that you would be leaving their family permanently? One day, when I was in trouble, Doug told me that he was giving up, that I was a liar and didn’t want to be in their family anyway. He said I was going to move to Arizona to live with a new family, but that I was the only one going. Galina (1yr younger) and I used to talk a lot. When she heard that, she said she wanted to try to be bad so that she could come with me to Arizona. But, I told her no, that wasn’t a good idea. Later, after that incident where I was in trouble was over, I wasn’t in trouble anymore. So, I thought I wasn’t going to be sent away anymore.

Then, one day, Susan told us to pack to go on a vacation. She told us all about the family and how much fun we would have here. She didn’t tell you that you would live here and not go back to live with them? No. She told us it was a vacation. It was just like with the other families we visited, except this time we packed a lot more stuff. They never used the word “Arizona”, so I never connected it with the time they told me that I was going to be sent there.

So, when DID you know that you were going to be a permanent part of this new family? You (new mom) told us in the car on the way home from the airport.

Follow the story of Caroline's re-adoption in the next blog.
For previous blog entries on Caroline's experiences:
Part I - An International Adoptee's Story
Part II - In Russia Waiting for the Adoption to be Final
Part III - Introduction to America
Part IV - First Year in America
Part V - First Year in America continued