I was not raised in an environment big on the reward system. There were no stickers or special treats for everyday actions or chores. It's not that I had a deprived childhood, it’s just that we were not given rewards for tasks or expected behaviors.


I received praise and allowance but for the most part good behavior was expected or demanded. I think my Mom may have had the right idea.It seems children these days are bribed or rewarded for the simplest mundane behavior.

Susie put her coat on so here is a gold star. Tommy took out the garbage so here is ten dollars. I’m all for praising good behavior, I’m all for that. It’s the “what am I going to get out of it?” attitude that bothers me. I grew up doing something because I was told to do it. “Because I said so” was something I often heard in my home.


I recently told Livi I had a surprise for her. I took her to Mc Donald’s Play land and everyday for a week whenever we got into the car she would ask “surprise today?”I attempted to explain the meaning of surprise to my daughter and she summed it up by saying with a sigh” not today.”


I have been known to use the promise of a sucker to get my child to remember to be patient while I was at the dentist. Not the best example to show at the dentist office but whatever works. Bribery does have its time and place, but I don’t want to make a habit out of it.


I asked my husband what his opinions were on bribes and rewards and he said “a bribe is to get your child to do something, a reward is for a job well done.” I thought he summed that up nicely. But should we bribe? Do we reward too much? How do we raise children who don’t expect rewards for behavior that is run of the mill? Opinions ?





Photograph by Lars Plougmann