Whether you are adopting trans-racially or not, there are special considerations in biracial adoption. The focus of this article is to help the adoptive parents of biracial children, or those considering biracial adoption, in raising confident children who are secure and confident with all aspects of their racial identity.

As a biracial person myself, I remember growing up in the 1970’s amid rude comments and people who just didn’t “get it” or “get” me. I remember being absolutely sick of “The Box” – the ethnic identifier box you had to check off for school, work – just about anything – and since I was in the newly created Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program, I had to fill out a lot of these boxes! There was no box for someone like me. I had to choose one or the other of my dual heritages - I couldn’t embrace both – yet both made up who I was, and am today. Eventually, I got confident enough to create my own box without caring that I was making marks with my number #2 pencil outside the designated “bubbles!”

So, just how do you impart that confidence in your biracial children?

As discussed in the article on Developmentally Appropriate Practice (DAP), having a sound cultural context is key. What does that mean? Basically, it encompasses a few things:

Accurate depictions: Biracial children need to feel good about both of the heritages that they descend from. There should be pictures in the home that reflect both cultures and they should be accurate and up-to-date. I was saddened recently, when I ordered a book online (one that was highly touted!) about Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad, that described African-Americans as “colored.” With resources such as the internet, there should be no problem finding pictures of modern day people reflective of the cultures your children hail from. Also ensure that they have access to both male and female models. Whereas some cultures do have a division of labor according to sex, (and if so, should be included in your depictions), many do not; and therefore, both sexes should be shown caring for children or doing everyday jobs.

Modeling correct language, terminology, and racial awareness: Look at your own prejudices or those that may be present in the people who surround you. Make sure you know correct terminology for the ethnicities that comprise your child. Some are hard to know with certainty – i.e. some people prefer the term African-American, others refer to themselves as Black (with capitalization). Some people claim Hispanic decent, others self-refer as Latino/Latina. Some terms have to do with geography, some do not.

Providing role models: If you are adopting trans-racially, ensuring that your children are able to interact with others who represent their birth culture is important. They need someone that they can ask questions of; yet at the same time, who can just be in their lives so that they know someone “like them.”

Know the history: It is important to know your child’s cultural history in context, and be aware of “revisionist thinking.” For children of both Caucasian and African-American descent, they have the shared contentious history of slavery. Some history books have “sanitized” cultural conflicts around the world. Your children may know one version of their history that may differ greatly from what they are taught in school or by the other half of their heritage. Cultural conflicts do exist and need to be treated sensitively.

Diversity: Your children need to see both parts of their racial identity depicted positively. However, they also need to see other cultures depicted in the same way. Particularly if your children come from a background where both halves of their racial identity have experienced conflict, they need to see that people of different cultures and backgrounds can get along. Additionally, though some children may receive accurate depictions of their own backgrounds, they may have not been given that information about other cultures. Some cultures that have experienced extreme discrimination, sadly, can also practice discrimination and distrust toward others.

Celebrations, rituals and traditions: If there are cultural celebrations, rituals or traditions in your child’s cultural background, try to find a way to incorporate these into the fabric of your family life. You can also make up your own traditions. Our family made up a holiday that we’ve celebrated for several years now, and it’s our favorite time of the whole year!

Listen: Even in our “enlightened society” there are undercurrents of racial tension. Experts say that children start becoming aware of racial differences during their preschool years! Thus your children will make statements about skin color, and may ask questions. These are “teachable moments.” Be sure to listen for the “sub-text” of daily conversations as well. If children are being teased (as I was) about the duality of their heritage, it may come out in “round-about” ways.

Don’t forget status and socio-economic conditions: Some nations have a class system that has subtle, and not-so-subtle, messages.

Provide culturally sensitive play items: As I search out online resources for announcements, and cutesy family caricature labels and cards, I have had an extremely difficult time finding anything for bi- and multi-racial families. When the social worker handling our adoption described the difficulty my daughter was experiencing with Black History Month in her small, rural, predominantly Caucasian, Southern town, I immediately went to my local teacher supply store and sent her a “care package” with multi-cultural “people color” crayons, construction paper in “people colors” and paper doll cut-outs (also in “people colors”); as well as stickers of famous African-Americans.

Enlist support: There are online and offline support groups for most aspects of raising adopted children – groups devoted to hair and skin care, geographical groups, and groups by race, or for parents adopting trans-racially.

Know that if your cultural identity differs from that of your child, it may be hard to understand some of the issues that come up. But if you listen, and work to provide culturally sensitive role models, your children will trust that you are truly there for them.

If you share your children’s racial identity, these tips can only enhance your child’s confidence in himself and in his background.



Books:

Different and Wonderful: Raising Black Children in a Race-Conscious Society (Hopson and Hopson)

The Book of New Family Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays and Everyday (Cox)

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World (Wright)

Does Anybody Else Look Like Me?: A Parent's Guide to Raising Multiracial Children (Nakazawa)


Online:

“People Colors” (crayons)

Dolls Like Me

Multiracial Sky