I am by no means an expert in the field of attachment parenting. What I am about to write is only what has worked for me, or not worked for me from my experiences. There is so much to be said about the benefits of attachment parenting and no doubt focusing on your child’s trust & security is a good thing. I was rather stealth in my attachment parenting in the beginning and as my daughter grew more secure I backed off a bit. I have a big attachment tool box and I will add or take away a tool as I see fit and as Livi grows and attaches.This is just my look at the advice and the reality. Do what works for you and please feel free to share your insight.What tools have worked especially well for your child? Im always looking for new attachment tools.


The Advice: Don’t leave the House with your newly adopted child- cocoon & nest

The Reality: You have to leave eventually, and in my opinion this is where your little angel can sprout horns or show off that halo. I cocooned with my daughter for four months and when we did start venturing out only then did certain behaviors rear their ugly head. I also think you can see your attachment work pay off when your outside of the child’s comfort zone. If your child Mommy shops or is showing no stranger anxiety than you know that your attachment may need more work.

The Advice: Co-sleep to encourage attachment

The Reality: This is my reality, my daughter could not let down, relax or trust enough to co sleep… we tried.. honest we did. I felt like she was trying to sleep with one eye open. She always had her guard up and when I finally put her in her own bed, I think we both exhaled. Only after we were home eight months did she trust enough to co-nap. If your newly adopted child will not co-sleep dont feel bad... there are many other tools you can choose from.

The Advice: Wear your child

The Reality: Maybe I never had the proper carrier but wearing did not pan put for me, the straps dug into my shoulders. I did carry her everywhere and I do think this is great advice. I wish I had bought one of those slings back when my daughter was lighter.

The Advice: Regress

The Reality: I agree whole-heartedly on this one, I think its important and we did it. We still do regress if she is showing signs of stress. Regress to an evening bottle, don’t push the potty, play infant games ( peek a boo) with your preschooler. Wrap your toddler in a blanket and rock. Baby your baby a little longer.

The Advice: Don’t let anyone besides Mom or Dad give affection

The Reality: Good Luck keeping Grandma & Aunties away…when family swoops Livi up and plants kisses on her, or hugs her… sure I wonder if that is confusing to her. When we first came home I tried my hardest to limit any touch, but that’s what families do. I would ask them to please not feed her (they fed her) to not hug her (they hugged her) or kiss her (they kissed her) and I realized that she only visits with family a few times a year.

How about you? what attachment advice has worked well for you and what has been a struggle?




Image credit