Comments on: Am I Ready to Adopt?

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Sat, 17 Jun 2006 03:45:48 +0000

I don’t believe I agree with Barbara. Yes I am sure that uniformed people may take steps to adopt but in all reality the reasons she quoted I think wrong. I don’t think you should adopt a child for the sole purpose of providing companionship for a child but, as a child with many siblings myself, it is a constant struggle watching my son miss out on the great bond of sisters and brothers. I dream of one day him having a true sibling to quarrel with, love, and enjoy. All though this is not a main basis for our reasoning for fostering and wishing to adopt it is a true benefit. To have someone to look after, care for, and love like a sibling is a priceless thing that can benefit my son in his adult years. It will also be reassuring to know that long after my husband and I are gone our son will have the support of siblings to lean on. Like I said this should not be the main reason for family extending threw adoption but if God has laid it on your heart the ability to love someone that is not related to you I believe this is a great reason. God had instilled certain qualities in certain people to provide a home to children that wouldn’t otherwise have one. I think this article focuses on the reason for parenting to intensely! What about the many unplanned and surprise babies that are born every year. Those Parents that haven’t “researched” parenthood learn, adjust and love.

The bottom line is that you can’t, honestly, answer the question about whether or not you are ready to adopt until you become as well informed as possible on the matter.

What many people fail o realize is that no matter how much you know before you adopt you will never “in all reality” be ready to adopt, because you will never be a perfect parent. Flexibility is important for any parent not just adoptive ones. Unseen problems and heartache is a risk for every parent.

Elizabeth Grazey
http://www.loveistime.com

By: Dr. G

Dr. G — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 05:31:12 +0000

thank you so much Heidi for a different and equally valid perspective!

By: hsaxton

hsaxton — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 21:38:19 +0000

I'm not sure I agree with Ms. Holton. People are motivated for many different reasons to consider adoption, just as with biological parenthood. And frankly, no matter how well you prepare -- you are never really prepared, you know? Parenting -- whether adoptive or biological -- is very much a "fly by the seat of the pants" proposition.

Neither do I think religious faith is a bad reason to consider adoption. One cannot love in the abstract. Love -- whether for a child or for another adult -- develops and matures over time. In the meantime, we choose to love because God created us to love other people, reflecting the One who is love.

This is not pious sentimentality; this is a willingness to "lay down one's life" (as Jesus did) for another person, which is the crux of the Christian message.

Anyone can write a check -- but in the immortal words of Keith Green, "God can't cash out of state checks in heaven." Children, on the other hand, will share heaven with us!

Of course, one does not adopt simply to "save" another human being -- any other human being -- by force. We tell our children frequently that God sent His angels to bring them to us -- and that He put a special place in our hearts that only they could fill.

Nor would I stop loving my children if they chose to walk away from the faith in which we have raised them. Regardless of the choices they make, they are infinitely valuable to us, and to the God who entrusted them to us.

There are so many variables and unknowables to adoption -- who is to say that one motivation is better than another if, in the end, a child is given a loving, stable and PERMANENT family?

Heidi Saxton
heidihesssaxton.blogspot.com