What does it mean to be ready to adopt? Is there some secret checklist that parents who are considering adoption keep in their heads and privately review? Are there any critical questions that you should ask yourself before you begin the adoption process?

I love this piece written by Barbara Holton. Here are just a few reasons that some people may give for considering adoption along with Ms. Holton's responses:

I want a playmate for my birthchild.
Hire a neighbor's child.

My religion tells me to reach out to those less fortunate than I am.
Put a big donation in the collection plate next Sunday.

My infertility is a constant sadness. It hurts terribly.
Infertility is devastating, but you must understand that adopting does not cure it.

I think the biggest mistake a person can make in adoption is not gathering enough information about the process and the experience. The desire to adopt may be formed in the heart and fueled by emotion, but the decision to adopt should be well informed by research and inquiry.

It is very easy to get caught up in the excitement of bringing a new child into your life without fully understanding or appreciating all of the ramifications for yourself or for the child. I don't believe any parent goes into adoption casually. However, I know that some parents are naive about the many issues surrounding adoption and that naivete can come back to haunt them and their child in heartbreaking ways.

Here are just a few questions I would ask a person who may be wondering if he or she is ready to adopt:

How much do you know about adoption?
Where does most of your knowledge come from?
Do you know any adoptive parents?
Have you spoken with them about their experiences?
Is most of your knowledge about adoption based on television and movie images?
Are you aware of the unique issues that exist for adopted children?
Do you know any adults who were adopted as children?
Have you talked with them about their experience?
How supportive are your family and friends?
Have you talked with any women who have relinquished a child for adoption?

The list of questions could go on and on. The bottom line is that you can't, honestly, answer the question about whether or not you are ready to adopt until you become as well informed as possible on the matter. Also, it is important to become familiar with the entire experience of adoption.

Adoption is a lifelong experience. This means that you will need to gather information on more than just the technicalities involving the adoption process such as filling out mountains of paperwork, completing background checks, having a homestudy prepared, identifying a child and having a child place in your home. Focusing only on this aspect would be like thinking no further than bringing a baby home from the hospital. That is only the beginning! Once you adopt a child, your lives together are just beginning. Take the time to prepare for the journey as best you can.