As an adoptive parent, you need to take your responsibility to draft a Last Will and Testament seriously. Without a will, if you and your spouse die together without a will, then a stranger (a judge) will make the difficult decision about who will raise your child. You owe it to your child to make provisions for him in the event that you are unable to do so yourself.

In addition to this concern, you will want to think about what instructions you want to leave your child's guardian with respect to his adoption. If you have a semi-open adoption, you will want to leave instructions about how to put the packages together for the birthmother, including where to send those packages. The guardian will need to know basic information, such as which adoption agency handled your child's adoption. If you do not provide this information, then your child might face an additional obstacle in locating birthfamily once he becomes an adult. Considering he would have already lost his adoptive parents, it would be a shame to erect additional barriers to reconnecting with his birth family as well.

If you have an open adoption, it would be a good idea to introduce the guardians to your child's birthmother. That way, everyone will feel less awkward about continuing the relationship that you have set up. If your child has the misfortune of losing both adoptive parents, it would be a travesty to be forced to lose his birthmother as well because the guardians feel uncomfortable with continuing the relationship.

If you have a semi-open adoption or closed adoption and you have any significant information to pass along to your child, placing this information with your will is a good idea. You might have impressions about your child's birthmother from when you met or interesting tidbits about the birthfamily that you have not yet shared with your child. It would be a shame to take that information to the grave with you.

Even though papers that are stored with your will are not legally binding, you are presumably leaving your child in the care of a guardian who wants to carry out your wishes. Leave your guardian a letter explaining your relationship with birthfamily, if applicable, and encourage the guardian to continue those relationships. Also, the guardian can later show your child your letter so that he will better understand your feelings about your child's adoption.

Nobody likes to think about dying, but death is inevitable. I hope that everyone reading this blog will live long enough to see his child grow to adulthood, but none of us has that guarantee. It is our responsibility to make sure that our children will be taken care of if the worst happens.

Related Topic:

Life Insurance and wills

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt