Today, my best friend, Jackie, mentioned another good friend of hers, who had been able to locate her first mother and father just a little while back. I suggested that she tell her friend about the blogs at www.adoptionblogs.com. Jackie knows that I write for the Adoptive Parenting and the Older Parent Blog and, sometimes, she reads just to see what I'm posting about. Today she shared with me that when she first started following my posts she used to scan through all the other blogs nearly every morning. Then she told me something that surprised me. She said she just stopped reading because she found it all so overwhelming and depressing. She had never mentioned that before.

What she tends to do now is check in to see if I have written anything new and if not, she moves on. This brings me back to an issue that I have mentioned before, the negative themes can become such a focus in adoption. Has the pendulum swung from the rainbows and angels singing with harps depiction of adoption to one that emphasizes only the negative?

Anyone who follows my posts knows that I am motivated to share the positive view of adoption. The positive view. Not to be confused with an unrealistic view. And certainly not to be confused with a false view. But what is the view that Jackie experienced when she said she just stopped reading because it was all so overwhelming and depressing? She is not seeking to adopt any children. Her primary interest in reading about adoption is so that she can be informed about how adoption affects me and my husband, our lives, our family's life, our daughters, our son.

A casual acquaintance said to me once, "Your kids don't seem like they're adopted. They just seem normal. You always read about how adopted kids have so many issues." Then she literally shuddered. I don't know how to take a comment like that. On the one hand I want to raise the banner that says: "HEY! My kids are just like every other kid, they're just ADOPTED! However, I write for a blogging community that underscores the reality that there are "issues" for many, many adopted children.

By presenting a realistic picture of adoption are we encouraging or discouraging prospective adoptive parents? After learning about our experiences are they inspired to continue their pursuit, or are they dissuaded from doing so? After reading through our blogs do they leaving thinking, "Adoption. How neat!" Or, do they leave feeling, "Adoption. What a bummer!" If neither of those extremes is the case, what is the realistic, eyes-wide-open, middle ground response we would hope we could achieve?

"Adoption. _______!"

Can anyone fill in the blank?