My son and I were talking a walk around the neighborhood when we came across an "It's a Girl" balloon on a mailbox. Nicholas pointed to the balloon and said, "Look, Mom! They adopted a girl!" Of course, we do not know these people and have no idea whether that baby joined their family through birth or adoption, but I think it is really cool that Nicholas immediately assumed that the baby joined the family through adoption. This tells me that he sees adoption as normal rather than as an anomaly that makes our family different.

What makes this doubly amusing is that Nicholas, who is now seven years old, has been around numerous other families that have grown by giving birth. When he was in the age range of two to three years old, pregnant women constantly surrounded us. Nicholas understood that babies were growing in their bodies, and he met each baby after he or she was born. So, it is not like he has not been exposed to babies who joined their families by being born into them. And yet, when he saw the balloon, he immediately assumed that the family had adopted a little girl.

A tangent to this discussion is Nicholas' complete lack of interest in where babies come from. Most of my friends have had to have "the birds and the bees" talks with their children by now. Nicholas has a vague notion that private parts and a special cuddle between married people is involved in making babies, but that is about it. I think he has resolved the question of where babies come from by accepting that they come from birthmothers.

Not only did Nicholas make this comment, but he was quite excited about it. He saw a baby joining a family through adoption (even though this was his own assumption) as a very good thing worth celebrating. I am so glad that he feels this way. I want him to see adoption as a positive way for children to join a family – not as a better way or a worse way than through birth but just a different way.

Related Topics:

Talking with Children About Adoption category

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt