So I last left off that my husband and I were having communication issues .We had been home a few months and had focused all of our energy on our daughter’s attachment and feelings of security. My husband contracted Hep A from my daughter, spent time in the ICU and quickly was working six days a week again. We had no time to face the issues that were brewing. We had such little time together I did not want to spend it arguing.Any attempts we made to bring up issues were quickly heated and we got defensive. John used sarcasam as his weapon of choice. I used criticisim as mine.


I was feeling depressed, unhappy, and resentful and the worst part is that I could not figure out why? I had what I always wanted. John was quick to point that out to me if I had a complaint. We each had to adjust to our new roles. John took to being the sole breadwinner straight away. Being a control freak I found it unnerving the way he would puff out his chest as if he were in total control. While I was working harder than I ever had in my entire life at home. I was offered a Job but the timing was off since Livi was still contagious. After all I always thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was not the only one having issues. John had the strain of having to work overtime just to make our ends meet. We were and still are in debt up to our eyeballs and instead of having a supportive & grateful spouse to come home to, he had a confused and depressed one.


I had to find my niche in this new Mommy role. I alone owned that issues and just accepting & adjusting to the emotional let down of the whole process was healing. Things got better in that department. While things got bad with our marriage… we threw around the “D” word out of anger, said things we regret. We came to a crossroads and finally decided it was time to do some work on our marriage before we had nothing left to regenerate from. I liken our marriage to a garden that someone had badly neglected. Weeds grew & flourished where flowers once bloomed and we had some serious work to do to bring it back to life. I don’t want to say we made a mistake making Livi our sole concern those early months home. I think we had our hearts in the right place. We promised never to threaten Divorce again. We promised to not make character blows. We promised to be respectful. We promised to communicate better. For the most part we have kept our promises. We are a work in progress but I do see some flowers blooming and I’m hopeful.

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire


It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ~Benjamin Disraeli



Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

image credit