We knew that adding a child to our lives would change things. Everyone knows that right? I guess like many aspects of parenting you really cant prepare for all the changes that occur in your marriage once your home with your new child. We were both ready to become parents. We married late and had our own lives carved out prior to getting married. I loved my low paying job in social services, managed to travel to the Bahamas twice, fulfilled my dream of snorkeling and spent money on my hair & purses. My husband focused on his hobby of sports collecting, purchased a condo was good at his job. We got married, bought a home, and then we began our adoption.


Its funny people tell you to enjoy this or that because once your parents you wont have as much time. It was a catch 22 for us. All of our funds went to our adoption so its not like we could afford the theatre or dinner out. We did manage a trip to a B&B & Niagara falls. Once we received our referral it was a whirlwind of activity and before you know It I had left my job and was a stay at home Mom. We went from a two income to a one-income family overnight. Its what I always dreamed of, it should be bliss right?I was not prepared for the feelings of resentment towards my husband. I was not prepared to miss my job. I was not prepared for the Giardia and 10 poopy diapers a day.


I was exhausted and jealous of my husband; He at least got out of the house. He got to have a uninterrupted lunch hour. He could use the bathroom on his own. The post adoption depression, jet lag, bronchitis and sheer exhaustion did not help matters. We focused on Livi… she was our priority now and we did not have time for such trivial things as resentment and things not being exactly how I had envisioned. Fast-forward a few months and Livi has adjusted but these unrecognized feelings I have not verbalized are stewing and brewing. You just cannot push feelings like that away and hope they dissipate. A storm was brewing in our marriage. Stay tuned - This is a three part series.

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ~Judith Viorst


Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~Katherine Hepburn


A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

image credit