The title isn't so startling, is it? Children grow up. That’s what they do. This inclusive statement extends to adoptee children as well. They grow up. So why is it worth talking about?

My adopted children have arrived to me between 17mos and 17yrs old. From the first time I hear that the child will be arriving, I work and plan for this child to have a successful life. By nature of the adoptions I’ve pursued, my kids have come from really, really awful backgrounds. Because of that, my focus starts from day one – and the focus usually remains pretty short term at the beginning. That’s the fancy way of saying we hope to survive from one day to the next.

I do my best to think and plan for the future. My goal in life is to have healthy and happy children who can make basic contributions to society. Sometimes the daily stress is in wondering exactly how we are going to help some of the kids pull off that lofty goal.

Sometimes I also get a phone call like this one my 23yr old daughter made to me only minutes ago. “Mom, what can you tell me about the Muslim religion?”, she asks. My knowledgeable answer was "Ummm, nothing really. Why are you asking?" She tells me that the group home where she works just took in a little boy who is Muslim and so she needs to learn about his religion. I can’t help her with this one, but we continue to chat for a few minutes to check in with each other. During the conversation, I tell her that I am about to write another blog and ask her if she has a topic suggestion. She says she does: “Tell them my kid grew up and now she helps other people including a little black Muslim kid.” She was being cute, or so she thought. I rather think it is a very good point.

Adoptees grow up. This girl came as a very rough-edged, hardened, terminally ill 15yr old. Through miracles, also known as a huge load of heavy, hard work by both mom and child – work that I thought would bury me at times – she is a very functional, still terminally ill but feeling great, emotionally stable on medications, married young lady. And she is passionate about helping other kids. She works in a group home for children entering state care. She and her husband have submitted applications to become foster parents. She is giving back and she is good at it. That terrified girl who crossed my doorstep eight years ago has grown up.

The other children in my home will grow up. That part is not a surprise. But, if I use my daughter’s example, it gives me courage and motivation to keep going. Some days are tough with my kids. Some days, I do wonder if they will make it. But, knowing they grow up – and knowing that what we do now WILL and DOES make a difference – keeps me going with a smile even. It is an honor to be part of the cycle of life of our very special adopted children.

For additional points of view:

Cindy Bodie recently wrote this blog about one of her adult adopted daughters.

Abby writes blogs from an adult adoptee's point of view. Her first blog tells a bit about her own adoption story. Many additional blogs shed insight into more of her thoughts as both an adult adoptee and an adoptive mother.