This is the 4th (and final) interview with Caroline regarding her thoughts on adoptions issues. She shares openly - and they are her own opinions. Sometimes she, as the adopted child, and I, as the adoptive mother, disagree. AND, her thoughts as the one most directly impacted in adoption, are valuable.

There have been celebrities recently who’ve adopted children. There have been other celebrities who’ve been vocal in their opinions about whether those adoptions are right or wrong. Do you think celebrities should adopt children from other countries (or within our country)?

I don’t know what the celebrities should do. But for me, as an adopted kid, I think I would have rather been adopted by a regular family than a famous family. As a kid in an orphanage, I didn’t know what “real life” was. If I were adopted in a celebrity family, it would be opposite – I wouldn’t know what “real life” was from a different perspective. In a regular family, I learn about families of all sorts really, how schools work, how routine family life works, how to work for what you get, stuff like that. But, I think celebrities can make a “normal life” for their child if they want to. And I won’t say that a celebrity lifestyle is wrong either. People should not judge others based on whether or not they are a celebrity. It’s not our place to judge. Everyone can make their own choices.

One problem common to both adoptees and their families on both sides is “the family tree” project that kids are often asked to do. The problem is that an adoptee has more than one family – at the very least, a birth family and an adoptive family. These projects can bring up a lot of confusion for an adopted child. Do you have any thoughts?

I did used to have a problem with that at first. But then it made me realize that I wanted to know about both sides of my family – that both sides are my family. Make your own family tree. Don’t use a printed one that doesn’t fit what you want. It’s your family; fill it out the way you want it. Be creative. (Tana W. over on LDS adoption had a great series on family trees during this last week: Family Trees)

Another hot topic in the adoption community is the idea of where a family should adopt from. Some families adopt from other countries and then sometimes told that they should have adopted from “right here in our own country; help our own first” or something like that. Do you have any opinions about a family adopting from America first, or another country first, or anything along those lines? (For this answer, keep in mind that Caroline is now in a family with birth kids, foster kids, internationally adopted, and domestically adopted kiddos. Her parent's choices, then, don't really influence her answer.)

Whoever said the second, about our own country, they’re full of crap. We are the richest country in the world. Even our group homes, foster homes, orphanages are better than the ones in most other countries. Kids in foster homes here are usually getting food. Kids in other countries don’t always have food, clothing, schooling. There are a lot of things in this government to help our kids with food, school. In other countries, their governments don’t always care at all.

Do you have any suggestions to give to parents hoping to adopt a child?

Take as many classes as you can to learn about who you are adopting. Find friends or internet groups that can help you learn. Once you’ve adopted a child, keep learning and then share with other parents. Be open minded about how things will be for your family once the child comes home. Pray a lot for help, if you are religious.

Any last comments on adoption issues?

“Adoption sucks because sometimes you don’t get adopted.”

So, in spite of all of the problems you've had in adoption, you are glad you were adopted?

Yes! I thank God every day that I was lucky enough to get adopted.

(Me, too, baby girl. Me, too.)