Caroline, a 17yr old adoptee from Russia (shown here with her adoptive family shares her thoughts on adoption issues.

What would you like to say to families who are considering adopting an older child?

They should expect that the child is going to be a pain in the butt. Don’t expect things to be all good and perfect – that would be utopia, but not reality. Going through all the things they have already gone through by the time of adoption, a lot of people that they trusted will have disappointed them. So, it isn’t likely that they will come to your home ready to trust right off, or love you right away, or maybe even want to be there at all? If you expect that things will be hard for a while, then you will be prepared. Maybe you will be surprised and there won’t be problems. But, at least you’ll be prepared either way.

In spite of all that, do it anyway if you can (adopt). Even if the kid doesn’t say they need it, they need help. The child might only be concentrating on how to survive, but they need a family, they need someone to love them and teach them how to become adults.

Do you have any suggestions for the children already in a family on how to act or how to handle things when a new adopted child comes into the family?

Try to be open and accepting. Don’t decide before the new sibling comes whether or not you will like having a new brother or sister. Give it a chance and see how things go. For both the children already in the family and the new child being adopted, I would say to be your own selves and not compare yourself to the other kids – and don’t try to change to make the other kids like you.

Do you think it is possible for parents to love adopted children as much as their biological children?

Yes. Yes, if the parents have hearts open for that. It seems to me that you wouldn’t just meet someone one day and automatically love them. It would probably take time. But, I know that some people have even loved a child before they met them. In my own family, I know that I am loved at least as much as biological children.

To be continued...