I've read a couple of really moving posts here lately of parents who are struggling to help out-of-control children. I'm posting a parenting affirmation from my book that I hope will offer some solace in their time of need.

"Sometimes I make a mistake as a parent. I forgive myself."

Remember: Without intention, there may be days where circumstances collide and you may speak harsh words to your child, ignore his needs, or punish her unjustly. Whatever the case, forgive yourself. Seek your child's forgiveness if the situation warrants, even if your child is unable, or, unwilling to extend forgiveness to you. A moment, or even many moments, of flawed parenting does not equate with being a failure as a parent. You are able to temper the potential negative effects of your mistake with enduring love, faith, and hope

In my posts on adoption remorse and parenting remorse I shared a couple of instances of personal meltdowns with my children that I really regretted. Sometimes, my parent meltdowns have been borne out of the frustration that goes along with the particular developmental phase one of my kids is going through. Although, I already know all of that stuff, it still doesn't stop the behavior or the phase from getting on my nerves. I do my best to manage my responses and figuring out how to handle any given situation at any given time and usually I'm fairly successful. But, other parents, with less experience and less knowledge may not feel as confident in the wait-it-out, or, the figure-it-out approach that I tend to advocate.

As you know I'm really big on using your own expert opinion on how to manage, discipline, love and raise your child. However, there is no question that sometimes information from a book, professional, or other resources is necessary.


This link offers a comprehensive reading list that addresses adoption and adoptive parenting from many different perspectives. I think you can find a lot of information that could be very helpful. Still, after you have read all the books, articles, and links; after you have visited all the forums and chat rooms; then, you are going to have to make a decisions.

Sometimes you will be make a mistake. Sometimes your words and your actions will be all wrong. When that happens, recite the parenting affirmation above, act on it, and start all over again.