In my “raising a spirited child” post I posed the question are some children just harder to parent than others? I often wonder if it’s a matter of fit. What makes one family able to handle issues that cause another family to disrupt? How much of our parenting styles and personality styles come into play when dealing with difficult children. I do think some children just have easier going laid back personalities and others are of the more spirited nature. In our situation you have me the reserved anal retentive type A Mama who likes things structured orderly and in control and an extrovert wild child who fights for control every chance she gets. We are quite the odd couple. We have all met someone in our lives that we just don’t mesh with.

It could be a co-worker or some relative. You know what I’m talking about. You try and try but for some reason you just cant see eye to eye. While I’m not saying that this is the same scenario I have with my daughter. I have read accounts of disruptions where it sounds very similar to this problem. A problem of not meshing and getting along. I have always viewed my parenting role as a teacher and guide. It’s not my sole intention to have my one day teen be my best friend. I sure do hope that we are close. I hope my daughter can come and talk to me.. but I’m her parent.


I guess that’s how I approach things now. I’m the Mom; I’m the boss of the applesauce. I admire her fiery personality, her hearty laugh, her outgoing and tenacious spirit. There are many challenges that we have faced with her sensory issues and I sometimes wish that she would just listen already. Some days it’s really rough. I sometimes want to throw my hands in the air and say “you win”. Difficult or not she is my daughter and I will keep on keeping on. What’s your view on this? How important are personalities and fit when it comes to raising our spirited children? Or does it come down to our approach and skills?


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