When a child has selective mutism, it is generally evident only out of the home. When the child is home, he usually is able to use appropriate speech. So, how can we help our children who have a disorder that’s only evident when we aren’t around??

1. Remove the expectation and the pressure that the child will speak. Let your child know that you understand that he has difficulties. Offer understanding and support to him when he has difficult situations.

2. Don’t use punishment or bribery in attempts to persuade your child to speak. Knowing that it’s very important to you will only serve to increase the anxiety for the child.

3. Remember that selective mutism is an anxiety disorder. Do what you can to reduce anxiety and stressors in unfamiliar environments or wherever the child has selective mutism (school is usually a “big one”).

4. Create opportunities for the child to communicate non-verbally. This can include pointing, gestures, sign language (real or self-created), or using written notes.

5. Eye contact. As the parent, you can expect eye contact from your child when communicating. Elsewhere, let this expectation go. If the child begins to communicate, allow them the feeling of “safety” in not having to look someone directly in the eye.

6. Invite familiar people to the child’s home. Give your child a chance to interact with people that are somewhat familiar in a safe place, his home. Most of the time, the child will not speak, even at home, if strangers are present. However, try having grandma over, or a good family friend, or even the child’s teacher.

7. Look into various therapy options. A quick internet search revealed information about five different types of therapy that might help a child with selective mutism. Learn and find a type that might be useful with your child.

8. Explore art, music or sports activities. If your child is interested, these may give him an opportunity to learn, grow and also to interact in environments where speech isn’t the primary focus of the activity.

9. In seeming opposition to step #1 of removing the expectation that your child will speak, I’m now going to suggest that you react as if it is a common expectation that your child speaks out of the home. For example, if the child does say something at school, you want to share positive support and encouragement – but not to make it into a big deal. React as if it is routine that your child speaks out of the home.

10. Read! Become more informed about selective mutism and how to help. There are several great websites.

Websites:
Selective Mutism
Anxiety Network
The Selectively Silent Child
Suggestions For Parents and Teachers

Blog:
Selective Mutism